


Vignettes

by jenniferjun1per



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Post-Battle of Scarif, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2018-11-18 15:13:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 27,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11293272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenniferjun1per/pseuds/jenniferjun1per
Summary: Snapshots in the lives of Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt fills from a follower milestone giveaway on tumblr

**Prompt: _A light in the dark_**

She moves cautiously in the dark, mindful of anything that could disturb the stillness of the room. She wants to turn on the light, to chase away the blackness and the ghosts that inhabit it, but she resists, because she knows what lies at her destination. Or rather who.

The soft hiccup of a snore directs her to where she needs to be, the rustle of sheets further pointing her in the right direction. She extends her arms and feels for the bed, for him, and when her hand comes to rest on the warmth of his back she knows she’s home. He turns to her and opens his eyes, and in them she can see the light in her darkness.

\---

**Prompt: _AU Cassian and Jyn snuggling on the sofa - Jyn is trying to convince Cassian of the virtues of her favourite movie(s) so they can netflix binge them._**

“Come on, Cassian! You’ll love them, trust me!”

“I don’t know, I’ve never been one for superheroes. It just seems so far-fetched. I mean, people with superpowers? Really?”

Cassian stuffed some popcorn into his mouth as Jyn fiddled with the remote control. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder as she settled in, fluffing up the blanket covering her legs.

“Wouldn’t you rather watch ‘Schindler’s List’ again?” he looked at her sideways.

“Definitely, if I felt like crying and being depressed. Come on, these are fun movies!”

“But are they believable?”

“They’re not supposed to be believable!! Superheroes! They do cool things! Come on, didn’t you read comics when you were a child?”

Cassian hummed for a moment. “Hmm, must have missed that part of my childhood.”

“Well this will be your first lesson.” she pressed a button on the remote, starting ‘Captain America: the First Avenger’. “We’re watching all the Marvel movies, in chronological order.”

Cassian’s eyes went wide. “How many are there?”

“Fifteen.” Jyn answered matter-of-factly. Cassian blew out a breath.

“I guess we’re going to be here for a while, so I might as well make myself comfortable.” he put his feet up on the coffee table, tugged Jyn tighter to him, and prepared to suspend his disbelief for the next thirty hours or so.

\---

**Prompt: _Post-coital cuddling_**

She arched her back as she came, Cassian’s face still buried between her legs. Her head hit the pillow as her body went limp, Cassian giving one last long lick for good measure before tracing his lips up her stomach, over her breasts, and snuggling into her neck. Jyn could feel the line of her own wetness on her skin that Cassian’s lips and beard had left behind, and it continued to stoke the fire in her belly. She couldn’t get enough of this man.

“Are you ready for your turn?” she breathed, as he continued to pepper her neck and jaw with kisses.

He chuckled softly, before sucking a mark into the skin just below her left ear. “Let me hold you for a while first,” he whispered between kisses, and his breath hot in her ear only amplified the ache she felt, “I just want to hold you.”

She let him settle beside her on the bed, lying very still, mostly because her muscles were numb. He fit himself perfectly beside her, wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him. She snuggled into him, quiet and content, laying her head in the crook of his arm as he stroked her hair.

\---

**Prompt: _Post-proposal cuddling_**

_*Takes place after "[Nerve](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10615716)"_

Jyn was honestly surprised by Cassian’s reaction (not that she was affected in the least bit by Han’s ribbing) but as he held her close, his breath soft against her neck, she grew more and more relieved. The tension in her shoulders dissipated, and she tightened her hold around him in return.

“I didn’t know, I mean, I never thought- I just-” Cassian was sputtering, talking fast and stumbling over his words.

“You weren’t sure of me?” she asked quietly into his shirt, not wanting to meet his eyes.

Cassian pulled back, tipped her chin up to fix her gaze. “I wanted _you_ to be sure. I’ve been sure about it for a long time.” he smiled, a crooked, beautiful smile that Jyn could never get enough of.

She was glad of it. She was glad there was no more tiptoeing, no more questioning glances and no more elephants in the room. No more weird looks from Bodhi, no more rolled eyes from Han, no more knowing smirks from Chirrut.

She grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him once again to her, resting her cheek against his chest. He hummed happily, his arms tight around her, fingers pressing lightly against her spine. She could live like this, she thought, with arms like this, to welcome her home.

\---

**Prompt: _"Don't worry, you won't remember any of this tomorrow."_**

“Don’t worry, you won’t remember any of this tomorrow.”

Jyn nodded, the alcohol in her system already working. But Cassian was holding her so close, at this Imperial ball they were supposed to infiltrate, that she could feel the lines of his body against hers. Maybe she wanted to remember this, the way his palms felt against the bare skin of her shoulder. Maybe she didn’t want to forget how his chest moved up and down, as she laid her cheek against it.

It would certainly be seared into her memory, the way he looked at her, his eyes dark and deep and burning. How he moved with her, in an approximation of a dance, but really it was just a small circle of the two of them, oblivious to anyone and anything around them. 

She wanted to remember, and so she closed her eyes, fought the haze the alcohol threatened to bring upon her, narrowed her focus to the sound of his steady breathing, the swish of her gown as it brushed against his legs, the feel of his arms around her, warm and whole and _home_.

\---

**Prompt: _"I don't give a damn"_**

“I don’t give a damn, Jyn. You have to go.”

“Cassian, we can make it, come on,” she fiddled with the bacta patches, trying to will her hands to stop shaking long enough for her to help him.

“You need to go, Jyn, NOW!” he spit out the words rather than saying him, spraying blood and coughing up more. Jyn held him down, counted to ten in her head to keep herself calm. But Cassian was in rough shape, and even though she’d seen injuries like this before, seeing Cassian in that state instilled a panic in her core that she couldn’t shake.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More snapshots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found more drabbles I wrote from Tumblr prompts

**Prompt: _things you said after it was over_**

 

The sky was a blinding white, she felt the surf violent against her legs, and then a heat, a heat so intense it took her breath away, burned her throat and lungs and she was screaming but there was no sound…

 

She woke up in a panic, hands scrabbling around her, expecting to find sand but only finding crisp white sheets. Disoriented, her eyes flew open and as her vision adjusted she recognized a medical bay, med droids moving about, people with varying injuries lying on cots. Her mind was in the middle of taking everything in, when she heard a groaning coming from the cot beside her.

 

She turned to see Cassian, only recognizing him by his hair and the scruff of his beard. He was in bad shape, covered in bandages and bacta patches. He was thrashing about, eyes closed, face bathed in sweat, and Jyn didn’t waste a moment in climbing out of her own cot, ignoring the searing pain from her own injuries and crawling over to his side.

 

“Cassian!” she shook his shoulder, trying to wake him from the nightmare he was having, “Cassian, wake up!”

 

His eyes shot open and for a moment he didn’t recognize her, didn’t recognize anything, still living in the nightmare world he had just awoken from.

 

“It’s okay, Cassian, it’s me, it’s Jyn, it’s okay.” she soothed him as best as she could, her heart aching at the desperate look on his face, wishing she could smooth it away.

 

“Jyn?” his voice was scratchy from disuse, his features contorting in confusion.

 

“It’s me. I’m here.” his hand came up to touch her face, unsteady and unsure.

 

“But the beach, the Death Star, the light was coming for us…”

 

She held his hand snug against her cheek, fixed him with as confident and hopeful a smile that she could manage.

 

“It’s okay, Cassian. It’s over.”

 

\---

 

**Prompt: _things you said too quietly_**

 

“Don’t walk away from me! I’m talking to you!”

 

“There’s nothing more to discuss, Jyn.”

 

“There’s plenty more to discuss!”

 

The ship’s doors closed behind them, and after doing a quick onceover to make sure they were both uninjured, Bodhi escaped into the cockpit with Kaytoo and left them to their argument.

 

“You don’t trust me, right? That’s it, isn’t it?” Jyn challenged, her eyes burning.

 

“I said I’m not discussing this!” Cassian moved around the ship, stowing gear and avoiding Jyn’s livid gaze.

 

“You wouldn’t have pulled Chirrut out of that situation, or Baze, or even Bodhi!” she stood over him as he crouched over the storage bin, hastily throwing in jackets and packs, “So why, Cassian?! Tell me!” her voice was shrill, desperate, angry.

 

Cassian’s hands stilled, and he sighed deeply.

 

“I can’t lose you.” he said quietly, his voice low and unsteady.

 

“What did you say?” Jyn asked him, but her voice was soft now.

 

Cassian ran a hand through his hair, looked up at her. She was looking at him with questioning eyes, her brow furrowed, but there was something else there, a familiarity, that gave him courage.

 

“I said, I can’t lose you, Jyn.” and once he started, he couldn’t stop, “I don’t know what I would do, I can’t even think about it.” he shook his head, as if he were imagining that very scenario and tried to rid it from his mind.

 

Jyn was quiet for a while, and Cassian’s fears of scaring her off made his heart race and his palms sweaty. But then her arms were around his neck, tentatively at first, then tighter and firmer as he hugged her back. It was an awkward angle, Cassian’s neck and back strained, but he would take it.

 

“Thank you.” she whispered, then just as quickly as it began, it ended. She disentangled herself from his hold and headed towards the cockpit. “Gonna check on Bodhi and Kay.” she turned back, gave him a small smile, her cheeks coloring a wonderful pink, and disappeared up the ladder.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More (nsfw) snapshots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts from a sex trope meme on tumblr
> 
> Rated: EXPLICIT

**Prompt:**   **laughing during sex _and_** **“wow i did not know that was A Thing for me until right now and i’m totally fine with that but for the love of god keep doing it”**

They were finally alone, missions and debriefs done for the day, and Cassian couldn’t be happier. He had Jyn in his bed, mostly unclothed, and his brain and body hummed with the thoughts of everything he wanted to do. He was kissing her, her arms wrapped around him and she was sighing, pliant at his touch. He couldn’t get enough of the sounds she was making as his hands roved over her body. He slipped his hands under her shirt to pull it off when she suddenly gasped. Cassian’s hands stilled.

“What’s wrong? Are you alright?” he asked, his eyes searching hers.

Jyn bit her lip, a crooked smile forming. “I think so? You got a sensitive spot, it tickled but- it felt good.”

“What, you mean here?” he jabbed his fingers into her side and she laughed, head thrown back, throat exposed, hair fanning across the pillow. Cassian didn’t remember ever seeing a more beautiful sight. He didn’t let up on the tickling, but instead latched his mouth onto her throat. Jyn alternated between laughing and moaning, writhing under his touch, rubbing Cassian in all the spots he ever wanted to be rubbed by her.

He stopped his tickling only long enough to remove her underwear, and guide his cock inside her, but as he started to move she took his hand and placed it back on her ribs.

“Keep tickling me.” she breathed, and he obliged, and he found that the added sensation intensified her reactions. Sounds came out of her that were a mix of a laugh and a moan, breathy and bright and overall wonderful, and Cassian pumped faster and tickled harder to hear more of it. He could feel her tensing around him, her muscles drawing him in, and it took every ounce of his effort not to come right there and then. A long moan finally won out as she came, clutching him to her, and he followed her into bliss with his face buried in the crook of her neck.

\---

**Prompt:**   **the pleasant misuse of ties (modern au)**

“Really, Jyn? Out of all of the ties I own this is the one you want me to wear?” Cassian had just stepped out of the shower, clad only in a towel wrapped loosely around his waist.

Jyn looked up from the mirror where she was applying her lipstick. “What’s wrong with it? I happen to like it.”

“It’s hideous.”

“My father gave that to you.”

“Well, he has horrible taste.”

Jyn sighed, stood up from her dresser and walked over to her husband. “Here, let me help you put it on.”

“Jyn, I’m not even dressed- Whoa!” Jyn had pulled the towel off letting it drop to the floor. Cassian shivered a little at the exposure, fought the reflex to cover himself up with his hands. Jyn held the tie, fingering the silky fabric as she looked up at Cassian with hooded eyes.

“Maybe you just need a more positive connotation with it.” she said in a low voice, and Cassian tried so very hard to swallow the lump in his throat. She knelt down in front of him, took the tie, and wrapped it loosely around his hardening cock.

“Jyn, what are you-” but his words stuck, as Jyn took the tip into her mouth, wrapping the tie a little tighter as she licked and sucked at the smooth skin there.

Cassian’s eyes rolled back into his head, and he made a small, strangled sound as his hands threaded into her hair. Jyn tightened the tie a little more, took as much of his cock into her mouth that wasn’t wrapped up in the tie. She sucked in her cheeks and Cassian jerked forward, his fingers pressing into her skull. Cassian’s breathing became more and more shallow until finally she pulled off the tie, and took him all the way into her mouth. He came with a loud groan, and Jyn popped him out of her mouth with a loud smack. She licked her lips, stood up and handed him back the tie.

“How much do you like it now?” she asked with a sly smile.

“I, uh, think it’s growing on me.” he managed to respond, still a little breathless.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More (nsfw) snapshots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts from a sex trope meme on tumblr
> 
> Rated: EXPLICIT

**Prompt:**   **someone straddling the other while they’re “trying to read” and slowly getting them to put the book away**

“Jyn, _please_ , I need to get this report to Draven.”

“Mmhmm.” was all she could manage, her mouth otherwise occupied. She hadn’t seen him in weeks, and she couldn’t believe his audacity at actually wanting to do work while she was straddling him. To punish him, she pressed soft kisses to his jaw.

He still gripped the datapad, trying to ignore her affections, his brow furrowed as he kept his eyes on the screen. She kissed softly along the stubble on his jaw, then licked all the way towards his ear, before she took his earlobe into her mouth and sucked on it.

“Ah fuck!” he typed faster, fingers moving in a blur over the screen. Jyn dug in deeper, moved her hips against his, and he cursed in frustration.

“Almost done…” his voice was strangled, almost desperate, but he continued on with Jyn on top of him, grinding against his growing erection, her hands and mouth merciless on his skin.

“You better make sure that report is perfect,” she purred into his ear, and he shuddered, “You know how meticulous Draven can be.”

More cursing, and Cassian tried desperately to read and comprehend what he had just written. When Jyn slipped a hand between her legs to where she rubbed up against him, so that she was rubbing him as well as rubbing herself, he pressed ‘send’ and threw the datapad across the room.

Jyn only managed a yelp of surprise as he crushed his lips to hers, slipped his own hand over hers and rubbed her hard, the heel of his hand running circles over her clit, his fingers rubbing at the wetness that had soaked through her underwear.

\---

**Prompt:**   **one person meticulously doing something entirely for the other’s benefit without expectation or need of reciprocation**

Jyn collapsed onto the bed, exhausted and sore from the mission. Cassian hadn’t gotten quite as beat up as she did, so he watched her, concern flitting in his eyes.

“Hitting the ‘fresher?” he asked casually, trying not to betray the concern in his voice.

“Carry me there. I can’t move.” she was only half-joking, but Cassian obliged, picking her up easily and carrying her to the ‘fresher. He helped her peel off her clothes, sweaty and sodden, turned on the water and helped her in. She leaned against the wall, letting the water hit her, making no move to do anything else. Cassian only hesitated for a moment, before shucking off his own clothes and stepping in with her.

She was too tired to say anything, just raised an eyebrow at him, as he sudsed up some soap and carefully lathered her body. He started at her shoulders, moving down over each arm, the soap slick on her skin and his hands warmer than the water. He rubbed the soap into her back, then flipped her so she was facing him. Tenderly, he ran his hands over her chest, slowly, and when his palms touched her nipples she inhaled sharply. He kept going, down over the flat of her stomach, lower and lower, until he was slipping his hand between her legs.

She leaned her head against his shoulder, and the water felt good on her back, but it was his hand between her legs, fingers featherlight and dipping in, that made her feel even better. He held her up as she shuddered against him, again and again, and when her body went limp he turned off the water, dried her gently, then carried her back to bed.

She went to kiss him, moved her hands onto his chest, but he only settled into bed beside her, kissed her brow and tucked the sheets around them.

“Just sleep.” he murmured, stroking her hair in a soothing rhythm until she drifted off into a well-deserved slumber.

\---

**Prompt:**   **“you’re only allowed to sit there and watch until i tell you otherwise”**

Cassian sat stock straight in the chair, and even though it was always cold on Hoth, he could feel beads of sweat forming on his brow.

Jyn was on the bed, wearing his parka, and only his parka.

“You’re only allowed to sit there and watch,” she told him, slowly opening his parka, “Until I tell you otherwise.”

She didn’t take it completely off, just opened it slightly so he could see what she was doing. He swallowed the lump in his throat as she touched herself, her hands cupping her breasts, thumb and forefinger pinching at each nipple. She moved one hand down, over her stomach, fingers dipping between her legs.

Cassian let out a little squeak, but she ignored him, pinching a nipple and grinding down against her hand. She threw her head back, her hair falling out of the loose bun it was in, and let out a string of moans as she rocked against her fingers. Cassian couldn’t help it, couldn’t take his eyes away, but his own hand moved down and wrapped around his hardening cock.

She rubbed harder, her palm against her clit, her fingers pumping furiously inside her. She pulled and pinched at her nipple and Cassian almost came at the look of intensity on her face. But then she stopped, beckoned him over.

“Now you can fuck me.” she said, and he wasted no time, rushing to the bed and pulling her to him. She straddled him, and he ached so much for her that he saw stars when she finally sighed against him, let her move and rock against his hips, let her come with a breathy moan as he stared in wonder at her. He barely recognized his own orgasm, wrapped up as he was in her rapture, and as she came down from her high, he nestled against her, parka and all.

\---

**Prompt:**   **anything involving the secretive brushing of fingertips against inner thighs in public spaces**

The briefing was taking longer than usual, but it was an important one hence the crowded room. Jyn and Cassian had been forced to stand in the back of the room, shoved up against a wall in a dark corner. Cassian had been able to pay attention through most of Draven’s speech, until Jyn shifted in her spot and he caught a whiff of her scent. He was instantly transported to the night before, as she moved above him, her hair loose and falling around her to frame her face. Her lips were full, open, her neck flushed, eyes closed, as she rocked her hips against him.

Cassian licked his lips at the memory, and as surreptitiously as he could, he slipped his hands onto her waist from behind. He could feel Jyn’s chest rise as her breath caught, and he pulled her body flush against his. He couldn’t care about the people around them, but from the corner of his eye he could see they were all fixed on Draven, so he continued.

He dropped his hands down, over her hips, splaying his fingers out as he reached the top of her thighs. He could feel her breathing heavily against his chest, and he nestled his face into her hair and breathed her in. Her hands settled against his as his fingertips brushed lightly, feather light against her thighs. He felt her shiver as he pressed a little harder, his fingers moving to her inner thighs. He kept them there, pressing only enough to dimple the flesh under her pants, remembering the way her nipples perked as she straddled him.

He’d lost himself in the memory when the lights in the room suddenly turned on, signaling the end of the debrief. Jyn turned to him, her eyes burning, and pulled him out of the room.

\---

**Prompt:**   **biting to stay quiet**

“Do you think they can hear us?” Jyn asked, pausing from Cassian’s lips to ask the question.

“Well, Baze sleeps like the dead,” he began, pressing soft kisses along her jawline as he went, “But Chirrut, well, you know how they say if you’re deprived of one sense, all of your other ones are sharpened.” he smiled devilishly and Jyn shoved him hard.

“I just don’t want them to hear us.” she had a mental image of them at breakfast, Baze, sleepy-eyed and grumbling, and Chirrut, with that stupid knowing grin on his face. Then Bodhi would ask what was going on, and Chirrut would just smile serenely at him, and then Kaytoo would ask embarrassing questions and these were definitely things Jyn didn’t want to have to deal with.

“What’s the problem?” Cassian asked, and then he sucked hard on the skin at the base of her neck, which never failed to elicit a response from Jyn. She let out a small squeak, slapping her hand over her mouth as his mouth continued, relentless.

“Cassian, please.” she implored, but her toes were already starting to curl from his mouth on her neck.

“You’ll just have to keep quiet then.” he whispered into her skin, and she shuddered, as his hands moved between her legs. He spread them apart, rubbed his hand over her mound, pressed his palm against her clit. Jyn wanted to cry out, but instead she sunk her teeth into his shoulder. It didn’t seem to faze him, he now slipped two fingers inside her and curled them just so, until he hit that spot that always made her unravel.

Jyn sucked and bit at his shoulder, his neck, his chest, his arms, anywhere she could reach to keep herself from making a sound. The whimpers and screams stuck in her throat, as Cassian worked his fingers expertly inside her, so many nights spent learning her delights inside and out. She didn’t know whether to smack him or kiss him, she knew exactly what he was doing.

She came again and again, giving him a fresh mark each time, it was the only way she could keep herself from crying out. He finally showed her some mercy, slipped his fingers out of her, and kissed her tenderly on the lips.

“They may not have heard us,” he smiled sweetly at her, “But these marks you put on me will tell the whole story anyway.”

“Fuck.” Jyn slapped a hand onto her forehead.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More snapshots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts from a kiss meme on tumblr

**Prompt: Tipsy kiss _and_  We’re actually being kind of silly for once’ kiss**

They’d found the crate in the Imperial shipment they’d intercepted, shoved into the corner of the shuttle they’d boarded. The crate itself was banged up and looked old, like it had been forgotten in that dark corner. But when they got it onboard and opened it, they’d found a veritable jackpot - it was full of Alderaanian wine, having sat undisturbed for who knows how long in the dark, it had aged perfectly. They passed bottles around, Bodhi disappearing into the cockpit with his, Baze and Chirrut slinking away to a cramped corner with more than a few cradled in their arms.

Jyn and Cassian settled themselves onto nearby crates, and Jyn popped a bottle open. They passed it between each other, drinking in companionable silence. The mission had been a gruelling one, mostly tedious surveillance work, capped with a harrowing chase and inevitable firefight. They’d more than earned this moment of relaxation, and even Cassian, ever professional career officer, couldn’t deny them this.

They’d ended up sitting across from each other, but the cramped space had forced them to sit with their knees up against each other. Neither seemed to mind, and as the contents of the bottle began to disappear, so did the space between them.

“Should I open another one?” Cassian arched an eyebrow at Jyn, as she emptied the last drops of the bottle into her mouth. “Or maybe not?”

Jyn swiped at her mouth with the back of her hand, leveled Cassian with a half-lidded stare. “What are you afraid of, Captain? That I’ll drink you under the table?”

Cassian snorted. “That’s not going to happen, Sergeant.” and egged on by Jyn’s ribbing, he attempted to stand to grab another bottle. The wine, however, had caught up with him. He tipped forward, overcompensating on his balance, and tumbled into Jyn’s lap.

“Captain Andor! Are you getting fresh with me?” Jyn laughed, and Cassian had enough of his wits about him to blush as Jyn held him in her arms. He was enamored, however, by the sound her voice made when she laughed, and how her eyes sparkled and the apples of her cheeks colored.

“Would it work if I was?” Cassian put on his best charming face and flirtatious tone, the one he saved for garnering information from a reluctant mark. It always worked for him, with a one hundred percent success rate.

Jyn burst into unbridled laughter, her entire body shaking so much that she lost a hold of him, and they both fell to the floor in a tangle of limbs. Jyn found herself on top of Cassian, her hands pressed against his chest to break her fall.

“Are you okay?” she had tried to stop laughing, especially since Cassian was now rubbing his head, but the look of bewilderment on his face just made her laugh more. Their faces were so close though, and his eyes so deep and his mouth just below her, so close. She stared and stared at his lips, so red and wet from the wine, and she thought about wanting to taste the wine on his lips, and soon enough thought turned into reality, and she was kissing him.

Cassian made a small squeaking sound in the back of his throat, and he thought briefly that maybe they shouldn’t, but months of watching her, of being so close to her that it made him ache, convinced him to give in. After the initial sloppiness caused by her slightly inebriated state, she was falling deeper into the kiss, and Cassian couldn’t help but follow her.

She pulled back, after nipping a bit at his bottom lip, and her eyes roamed over his face. She finally locked eyes with him, and her gaze was clear.

“Um.” was all she could say, licked her lips as she stared at him. Her brain seemed to be catching up with her lips, and as realizations crashed together, Cassian could only smile at the journey her face was going through.

“Cassian?” she asked, and he only nodded at all the unasked questions she had all the intention of asking, except that she was on top of him, and he tasted of wine and desire and  _home_ , and so she did the only thing acceptable in that moment and in that position she was in. She kissed him again.

\---

**Prompt: First kiss**

“I don’t believe they’re married.” the Senator’s wife waved her hand disdainfully at Jyn and Cassian, undercover as a married couple on a mission that was slowly unraveling.

Cassian threw his head back and laughed, his cover still perfectly intact even as Jyn’s nerves vibrated like taut strings.

“I’m afraid we’ve just been married too long now, that honeymoon phase is gone.” he said by way of explanation, spreading his hands palm up in front of him. He looked sideways at Jyn for her affirmation, and she could only nod stiffly. The senator’s wife scoffed.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to pull here, but I don’t believe you.” she looked pointedly at her husband, who only regarded the entire scene with mild amusement.

“Oh my dear, leave these poor people alone. They’re only here for a good time.” he chuckled, taking a sip of his wine but still keeping a sharp eye on the two guests standing before him.

“You know very well that you’re an important link to Imperial contacts, and there are spies everywhere!” she hissed in his ear, and this statement of fact gave him pause. He nodded at the couple before him, standing much too far apart for two people who were supposed to be in love.

“I would hate to think you were here for nefarious purposes.” he addressed them, taking another sip of his wine.

“They haven’t even so much as kissed the whole time they’ve been here.” his wife sneered,  crossed her arms, and stared at them.

Jyn could feel her heart beating out of her chest. She’d been told it would be an easy mission, in and out, mingle a bit at the party. She hadn’t anticipated proving her sham marriage to a room full of people. She stood with her spine straight, a cold sweat building on the back of her neck. She could feel Cassian’s eyes on her, but she couldn’t dare look at him.

“See that, she doesn’t even want to look at him!” the senator’s wife jeered.

Jyn forced her neck to move, turned her head to catch Cassian’s gaze.

He was staring at her, with a look in his eyes she had never seen before. She knew as an experienced spy he could fix his expression into anything he wanted to, and make it believable. She certainly believed him now. He moved towards her, and she found herself turning to face him.

“My darling,” he began, and as he spoke he slipped his arms around her waist and settled his hands on the small of her back, “I’m sorry.” he looked at her with apologetic eyes, meant for it to look like they’d had an argument, but as he pulled her closer to him she could feel his heart beating fast, and the closer they got the less she could distinguish whose pounding heartbeat was whose.

“That’s alright.” she managed to say, fighting to keep her voice steady, “I forgive you.”

He smiled then, a small smile that was meant just for her, and then his face was inching closer to hers and her hands automatically moved to his chest. He paused for the briefest of moments, his chest rising as her hands settled, and then he was tilting his head, and his mouth was on hers and she felt an electrifying current down to the tips of her toes. He couldn’t be tentative, fully aware they had to sell this act, and so he kissed her, long and deep, and she found that she responded in kind, losing herself in the feel of his lips, the taste of his tongue, the warmth of his hands sliding along her back and settling at her hips.

When he pulled away she was breathless, eyes still closed, chasing the feeling that his kiss had left behind.

“Well,” the boom of the senator’s voice broke her reverie. “That settles it for me.” and he walked away, his wife trailing behind. “You were wrong,” he was saying to his wife, “No one kisses like that unless they’re infatuated with one another.”

\---

**Prompt: ‘I don’t have the words right now so here’s a kiss’**

He’d been told she’d been lost, that the U-wing she’d been on had been intercepted by a TIE squadron, and they’d been blasted into pieces.

He’d nodded at the news, face blank, blood running cold, didn’t turn his head when Kaytoo had turned his to look at him.

He didn’t meet anyone’s eyes as he walked through the corridors and they’d expressed their condolences,  _couldn’t_ meet Bodhi’s eyes, although he could see his hands shaking, couldn’t bear to see Baze’s bowed head.

He walked aimlessly through the base, his mind running steps ahead of his feet, memories and thoughts of her whirling like a leaf in a windstorm.

He remembered her smile, so rare, so radiant, so pure and raw. He saw it so little, that his heart rejoiced anytime there was even a hint of her lips turning upwards. And when that smile was for him, just for him, his stomach would flip and the feeling became like an addiction.

He closed his eyes and remembered the way her lips tasted, how she kissed him just before she left on her mission, how she stroked his hair and he kissed the palm of her hand. She’d pressed her forehead against his, fixed him with one last lingering look, and disappeared into her ship.

He didn’t want to open his eyes and know that she wasn’t there anymore, that he would never see her again. He clutched his chest, as if something had taken root there and wanted to tear him apart.

“Have faith, Captain.”

He opened his eyes to see Chirrut standing before him, and through the haze of unshed tears he thought maybe he was imagining it, but Chirrut was  _smiling_.

Alarms blared in the base, and he knew that only meant one thing. He ran for the hangar, faster than he had ever moved in his life, breath leaving his body in heaving gasps. Her U-wing had landed, unmistakably hers, and she was there.

He pushed past everyone, not bothering to listen to the explanations of her escape, not caring at the moment about the how, just wanting to get to her.

“Cassian!” she had seen him, her face a light in his darkness. “I know they told you I was dead, I’m sorry, they had the wrong ship.”

He had no words, even if he did his mouth wouldn’t obey him at that moment. He simply gathered her in his arms, pressed his lips to hers and lost himself in all the emotions he had gone through in that day.

When they broke apart, she touched a finger to his face. “You’re crying.” she traced the pad of her finger along his cheek, “I’m sorry.”

“I’m better now.” he could only whisper, his throat dry, but then he ached for the loss of her lips against his, so he kissed her again.

\---

**Prompt:**   **Kisses because everything hurts right now including being loved by you but you’re also the only thing that makes it feel better**

They’d fallen into something after Scarif, after they had lost so many, after Cassian had been brought back on the brink of death, after Jyn spent harrowing days wondering if he would live.

They naturally gravitated towards each other after that, even more so than before. They seemed to understand each other without words, simple glances and a soft touch of an arm was enough to convey everything they couldn’t say in words.

Despite this, Jyn spiralled into something in the aftermath, a deep, dark place that was somehow darker than the cave of her past. She couldn’t get the faces of the people who died on Scarif out of her mind. Nights were the worst, she would close her eyes, and their faces would shimmer behind her lids. She would turn to Cassian beside her in the bed, dig her fingers into the front of his sleep shirt, and without words, he would fold her into his arms and hold her until her body stopped shaking.

She sometimes thought she should have died there too, on that beach, that she doesn’t deserve to get to live this life, that she doesn’t deserve to laugh, to love, to move on, when so many who followed her lost their lives. She would look into Cassian’s eyes and see the love and admiration there, and she would only feel a burning shame. How can she deserve this, deserve him, when she had killed so many.

But in the end it’s in his arms that she felt the safest, the warmest, the most normal, if there ever could be such a thing in war. He always knew when the ghosts of Scarif came for her, because she would close in on herself, turn away from him and not meet his eyes. Warm, strong arms would surround her, soft whispers in her ear, and he would wait, wait for her to turn to him. She would kiss him first, and he would taste the salt in her tears, and her lips would get more desperate, and he would let her, allow her release. She would kiss his lips, his jaw, his brow, his half-closed lids, to remind herself that he was here with her, that despite all she had done, she must’ve done something right to deserve this second chance at life.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More (nsfw) snapshots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts from the New Rebelcaptain Smut Prompts list on tumblr
> 
> Rated: EXPLICIT

**Prompt: “No touching. You just sit there and watch.”**

 

“Cassian, _please_.”

 

“You said you wanted to watch.” He climbed off the bed, and stood at the foot of it, facing her. “So watch.”

 

“I can’t help?”

 

“No touching.” He shook a finger at her. “You just sit there and watch.”

 

Jyn sat in the middle of the bed, her clothes stripped off, watching Cassian with hooded eyes. She’d tucked her legs underneath her, and with her hair down and fanned across her shoulders, Cassian couldn’t remember seeing a more beautiful sight. His cock twitched at the sight of her, her nipples pink and hard, her lips slightly parted, a flush coloring her cheeks. He hefted his cock in his hand, watching her, watching her watch him, her eyes following the movement of his hand.

 

He started up a rhythm, pumping his length, alternating between fast and slow strokes, rubbing the pad of his thumb across the tip, moistened with precum. Jyn watched in fascination, and almost without thinking, her hand moved down between her legs. She cupped herself, not taking her eyes off Cassian, and he had to pace himself to stop from coming just at the sight of her touching herself.

 

“No touching,” he managed to say, even though he was thoroughly enjoying the sight.

 

“I thought I couldn’t touch you.” She pouted, but she still removed her hand.

 

“You just watch,” he said huskily, “That’s all.”

 

Jyn sat back on the bed, placing her hands behind her and leaning back, opening her legs as she did so. Cassian’s eyes widened. Rebellious, as ever.

 

“I’m watching,” she stated, looking up at him through her lashes.

 

Cassian couldn’t hold back anymore, his orgasm building to a fever pitch. He pumped his cock at a rapid pace, shutting his eyes tight as he felt it coming on.

 

“I’m coming,” he gritted out, and Jyn lay back on the bed, offering up her body. He leaned forward, a guttural sound coming from his throat as he came, spilling onto her stomach and chest. He fell onto the bed beside her, spent, caressed her cheek with his hand.

 

“That was a good show, Captain.” She caught his hand, kissed his palm.

 

Cassian lay back, his breath finally evening out. “Glad you liked it.”

 

\---

 

**Prompt: One of them is doing something not explicitly sexual (biting their lip subconsciously, working out) and it unintentionally turns on the other**

 

The briefing was over, but Draven had asked Cassian to stay behind for words only his ears could hear. Jyn had raised an eyebrow, but Cassian gave her a reassuring smile, and told her to wait for him, it shouldn’t take long.

So she she sat in a chair behind a console, as they spoke in hushed tones near the door. Having nothing else to do, she watched them.

It was a mistake.

Cassian had this thing he would do with his mouth when he was deep in thought, he would suck his cheeks in, then move his tongue around, before darting it out of his mouth and moistening his lips. It was always the beginning of something for Jyn.

She squirmed a little in her chair, hoping he would stop, but then he put his index finger to his lips and rubbed. Jyn crossed her legs.

She tried to tear her gaze away, to stare at anything else, but she was helpless, locked onto the obscene movements he was doing with his tongue. Completely subconsciously, he was rolling his tongue around in his mouth as he absorbed Draven’s words, once in awhile the reddened tip would peak out, and Jyn had to squeeze her legs together to stop the throbbing.

It was when he licked his lips for the third time, his index finger rubbing over them, that Jyn broke. Thankful that the room was dark, she was behind a console, and no one else was in there save the three of them, she slipped her hand under her pants, under the waistband of her underwear, and felt the wetness that was already starting to build. Briefly scandalized by what she was about to do, she couldn’t bring herself to care too much. It was all Cassian’s fault anyway.

She slipped her fingers down, stroking her own wetness and trying not to make a sound. Her eyes were trained on Cassian, on his wet lips, on his finger parting them, and she imagined it was his finger inside her, touching her and teasing her. She bit her own lip as he bit his, mirroring his action, imagining his fingers crooking inside her, touching that spot that made stars explode behind her eyes. She slipped another finger in, stretching herself, in the closest approximation she could make to Cassian’s width inside her, and she almost broke right then and there at the feeling.

She could hear the soft murmur of his voice, and she imagined him whispering Festian curse words into her ear as he pumped his fingers inside her, making her whimper and moan, telling her to come.

Her other hand flew to her mouth as she came hard against her fingers, muffling the scream that threatened to escape. She kept her fingers curled inside of her as she came down from her high, then withdrew them and refastened her pants. Just in time, as Draven was leaving the room and Cassian was walking towards her.

“Ready to go?” he asked, but then he saw her face. “Are you okay?” 

Jyn didn’t realize she was flushed and sweating. She passed the back of her hand across her face and nodded.

“I’ll be better if we can get back to your room.  _ Fast _ .” She looked up at him with hooded eyes, and he got her meaning immediately, taking her by the hand and pulling her out of the room as quickly as he could.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More snapshots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts from a kiss meme on tumblr.

**Prompt: kiss with hands tied behind their backs**

Cassian wakes to grit and the taste of blood in his mouth, and a pounding ache in his head. He moves to rub his head and otherwise check for injuries when he realizes his hands are bound tight behind his back. Despite the pounding in his head he registers another sound, someone speaking, saying his name.

 

“Cassian!”

 

He blinks his eyes furiously, unable to rub them clear, and when he can finally focus he sees Jyn shifting towards him in the pale light. His stomach dips when he sees her, a cut above her left eye and bruises blooming on her cheek and neck. She is bound too, her dancer’s costume dirty and torn.

 

“Jyn?” His voice is scratchy and raw, and when he coughs there’s pain in his abdomen. Jyn shuffles closer, so that she’s pressed up against his shoulder. “Where are we?”

 

“Jabba’s dungeon. Our covers were blown.” She’s whispering, because the Gamorrean guards are just outside the bars.

 

Cassian leans his head back against the wall. Without their intel it was now up to Lando to monitor the scene. He only hoped he’d had better luck than they did. The princess and Skywalker would need to know what they were walking into.

 

“Were you able to get the intel out?” He finds it difficult to talk, the guards must’ve landed some good blows before they’d thrown him into that cell.

 

Jyn nods, and when he looks down into her face he sees concern etched in her features.

 

“I look that bad?” He tries to chuckle but it comes out as a wheeze, and Jyn involuntarily shuffles closer, so that he feels the press of her body warm against his.

 

“You were out for a while, Cassian. I was worried.” She bites her lip, eyes searching his, roaming over the rest of his face.

 

Cassian tries to breathe a sigh of relief but it hurts too much, and it comes out as a rattly breath instead. He’s glad he woke up, glad he’s alive, because if he hadn’t, then Jyn would be alone. He shudders to think of what cruelty Jabba would have had in store for her. 

 

Her face is so close to his, and she’s still looking up at him, and he knows it’s not the time or place, but he feels a surge of something in his chest. He leans down and pauses, his lips hovering over hers, as if to give her a moment to think about it, but she lifts up on her knees anyway and meets him halfway. When her lips touch his he feels a lightness in his chest, in his shoulders, and when she deepens the kiss he thinks he’s never tasted anything like her, and it awakens something inside him. He doesn’t want to stop, wants desperately to have his hands free so he can pull her closer to him, so he can thread his fingers through her hair. He imagines what it must feel like in his hands, what her skin must feel like against his, and he leans more into it, losing himself in the feel of her lips. She makes a soft hum in the back of her throat, and he kisses her harder just so he can hear it again.

 

There’s a loud clang as the bars are opened, and Jyn and Cassian separate reluctantly. The guards haul them both up, and a dread settles in the pit of Cassian’s stomach, knowing full well how Jabba deals with his prisoners.

 

“Where are you taking us?” Jyn demands of the guards, but they only grunt at her, shoving her forward. Cassian catches sight of Skywalker, who’s also bound, being led away as well. As the Jedi passes him, he meets Cassian’s eyes and nods imperceptibly, and Cassian realizes they might just get out of this one alive.

\---

**Prompt: kiss with fury at the world**

Her parents disapproved of her choice, Cassian Andor was nowhere near as highborn, nor was he a beneficial ally to their kingdom. He was an orphan, duly raised by the highest-ranking general of their army and an exemplary soldier, but not a proper husband for a princess.

Cassian had retreated when their request had been denied, dutifully bowing to the king and queen, while Jyn burned with a fury beyond compare. She sought him out to tell him she wouldn’t abide by her parents’ decree, couldn’t, but he only held her by the shoulders, painful longing in his eyes, as he told her he must obey his king.

He left the next day for war, Jyn standing at the parapet to watch them go. The army advanced forward in straight lines, all eyes ahead, except for Cassian. At the General’s side, his attention was only on Jyn. His eyes were locked on hers, a promise in them that she wasn’t sure he could ever uphold.

She left once night fell, in a hooded cloak on her fastest horse, towards the fire and the rage of battle. She tore into the fray, wielding her sword and cleaving the enemy army as they came at her, hellbent on finding Cassian amongst the carnage. She made for the area where the fighting was thickest, where Cassian would no doubt be, and as she spotted the telltale blue of his tunic her heart leapt into her throat. She spurred her horse faster, but just as she neared him an enemy sword struck true, and he fell.

A scream tore from her throat, and she jumped off her horse, swinging her sword wildly at anyone who stood in her way. She stumbled to where he lay, amongst the fallen, and her breath caught to see his chest still rising and falling, though very faintly.

“Cassian!” she screamed, and she didn’t recognize her own voice, shrill and terrified as it was. She fell to the ground and gathered him into her arms, cradling his head in her lap.

“Jyn, my Jyn,” he choked out, eyes searching hers, and she fought back the harsh tears that threatened to fall.

“Don’t speak,” she commanded as she stroked his hair, shushing him softly, and she wanted to curse the world, curse the general who made Cassian his second, curse her parents for valuing him only as a soldier and not a man, curse Cassian’s own parents for dying and leaving him on his own in a cruel world.

“I love you, Jyn, promise me…”

“No! Cassian, come back with me, come back to me!”

He smiled at her, too weak to say more, but in his eyes she saw all the promises he had ever wanted to give her. She leaned down to his face, no longer able to hold back, pressing her lips against his desperately, an act of defiance on that battlefield. Despite how he was fading, he returned the fervent longing in her kiss, and her knees went weak and she wanted to rage at the world for the cruel injustice it had dealt her.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another snapshot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from a nonnie on tumblr: 
> 
> you should write a fic where Jyn and Cassian are slightly older, and Cassian's got his first gray hair, and Jyn will not let him forget it and maybe it turns slightly angsty because he never thought he'd ever have the chance to grow older and he's caught between feeling self loathing and happiness at that? Feeling like he's both deserving and not enough for all the blood he's spilled in the past?
> 
> Set a few years after Survival

Although the droids can more than handle the work in the fields, Cassian still insists on going out and monitoring the work, remnants of his fastidious nature. Jyn sometimes watches from the porch of the farmhouse, sometimes joins him in the fields, smiling as he tries to argue with the droids or more often than not, gets in their way.

 

It’s a hot day when Jyn comes out to call Cassian in from the fields, knowing how easily he can succumb to heatstroke and knowing how stubborn he can be at not recognizing it. She manages to interrupt a heated conversation with a particularly testy droid, who had obviously been reprogrammed by someone with a sarcastic sense of humor.

 

“I would suggest, sir, that if you are so well versed in this crop that you should do it yourself, but I’m afraid in your advanced age you wouldn’t last very long. Definitely not as long as a droid.” The droid huffs, at least the closest approximation to a huff a droid could make, and whirrs away. Jyn tries not to laugh at the look on Cassian’s face.

 

“Remind you of someone?” He shakes his head, and Jyn always feels a sense of relief when they can mention old friends. It had taken them a long time, but they had gotten there, after many nights of silent tears and long days of aching hearts.

 

“And I don’t know what he’s talking about, I’m not that old.” It’s Cassian’s turn to huff, as he bends down and picks at the long stalks of vegetation. Jyn is about to agree, to placate him and alleviate his foul mood, when the sunlight suddenly hits something that glints in his hair. She bends down to take a closer look, and finds one strand of hair much lighter than the rest.

 

“I’m going to have to agree with the droid, I’m afraid,” she smirks, as Cassian whips his head around to level her with an incredulous look. “You’re going gray.”

 

\---

 

Cassian doesn’t believe her at first, until they get back to the house and he’s able to confirm in the ‘fresher mirror. He brushes it off, laughing along with Jyn’s digs at his age, and her subsequent “old man” jokes. She teases him about growing old, asking him if he needs to get a cane to help him walk, if he needs to take a nap when he comes in exhausted from the fields. He endures her ribs with good humor, laughing with her, or playfully rolling his eyes and groaning at any particularly corny ones.

 

It’s one night though, when they’re getting ready for bed, and Cassian hasn’t come out of the ‘fresher for a long time, that Jyn knocks on the door.

 

“Everything okay? Was my attempt at chilaquiles for dinner not agreeing with you? Do you need me to mush it up for you next time?” Cassian doesn’t respond so Jyn opens the door. He’s standing in front of the mirror, leaning forward, his hands gripping the sink. His eyes are so very far away, and Jyn has to say his name a few more times before he acknowledges her.

 

“Cassian? What’s going on?” Jyn puts a hand on his arm, and she knows although it’s been a long time since they’ve been haunted by anything, ghosts have a way of returning. Cassian runs a hand through his hair, through the part where the gray shines out like a beacon in the night.

 

“I just--” he starts, blows out a breath and tries again, “I just never thought I’d get here.”

 

Jyn understands all too well what he means. She leans against the sink and tilts her head at him, keeping her hand on his arm. Cassian continues to stare in the mirror.

 

“I never thought I’d ever see the other side of thirty, you know?” He touches a finger to his face, tracing fine lines that have appeared around the edges of his mouth. “I’m smiling more, so I think you’re responsible for these.” Jyn can’t help but smile, taking his hand in hers and pressing a soft kiss to his palm.

 

“This is the happiest I’ve ever been in my life, here, with you. This simple life, that I never thought I’d have.” He turns to her then, and his features have softened as he looks at her with so much love in his eyes. Jyn feels something well up in her chest, and she gets up on the tips of her toes to kiss him softly. When she pulls back, his smile fades, and his eyes become distant again.

 

“But there’s something more, isn’t there?” She says quietly, already knowing the answer to her question. Cassian turns away from her, hangs his head and wrings his hands.

 

“I’ve done… so much…” He folds in on himself, and Jyn’s heart breaks, “... so much for the Rebellion. So many have died at my hands, how do I deserve what I took away from them?”

 

Jyn slips her arms around his torso from behind, laying her cheek against his back, fighting the tears that burn her eyes. “You did what you had to do, Cassian. We all did.” She feels him nod, but he still doesn’t turn towards her.

 

“I did what I was told, I fulfilled my duty, so I deserve peace, and happiness?” It’s meant to be a rhetorical question, but he sounds almost like he’s asking permission, like he can’t let go of the guilt he’s felt all these years, and he still needs an absolution.

 

“Yes!” Jyn nods vigorously against his back, squeezing her arms around him, and he wraps his arms around hers and squeezes back.

 

“I never thought I would grow old. I thought I would die in a battle, or murdered by a shady contact, maybe it would’ve been what I deserved.”

 

Jyn finally turns Cassian around so that he’s facing her, fixes him with a fierce glare. “We survived Scarif for a  _ reason _ , Cassian,  _ we _ did. No one else, just us.” Her heart aches at the admission, but she needs him to see her point. “There’s a reason for everything in the universe, there’s a reason for us, to be here, to be together, to  _ grow old. _ ” She takes his face in her hands, her eyes searching his, pleading, “Grow old with me, Cassian?”

 

His face breaks, and he gathers her into his arms and buries his face in her neck. Jyn feels his body shuddering, and she holds him to her, rubbing circles into his back and shushing softly. She threads her fingers into his hair, catching a glimpse of the gray strand that started this whole thing. She curses it quietly, before she wraps it around her finger and yanks it out.

 

“Ow!” Cassian reels back in shock, a hand going to his scalp. Jyn holds up the offending hair. “You know, that’s not going to stop me from growing older,” he says, one side of his mouth turned up. Jyn just shrugs. “And they say if you pull one out, ten more will grow in its place.”

 

“We’ll deal with them as they come.” Jyn smiles at him, before she pulls him down for a tender kiss.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More snapshots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From prompts on tumblr

**Prompt: You should write a fic where Jyn is dead/captured and Cassian finds a holo or a message from Jyn**

He took the news with his spy face on, his back straight and his hands held clasped behind him. He walked resolutely back to his quarters and headed straight for the ‘fresher, to empty out the contents of his stomach in heaving spasms. Afterwards he fell on the bed, the room still spinning above him, and tried not to think of Jyn.

_ At 07:00 we lost contact with Sergeant Erso _

_ She was involved in a firefight with some bounty hunters  _

_ We have reason to believe she has been captured _

_ At the moment we cannot risk sending anyone in after her _

_ Her official status is ‘missing in action’ _

Cassian rubbed his temples, trying to calm his heart rate and stop his mind from racing. He could go rogue. He’d done it before. He’d take Kaytoo for sure, Bodhi too, and one message to Chirrut and Baze and they would join him in a heartbeat. He sat up, ready to execute his plan when there was a knock on his door. He wondered if Draven had been reading his mind somehow and learned of his plan. It was Private Weems at his door, eyes shifting about as he stood hunched over something cupped in his fists.

“Private, what can I do for you?” Cassian thought it odd Private Weems was seeing him in person, anything Draven needed to communicate could’ve been done over comms.

“Captain Andor,” Private Weems began nervously, his eyes still darting around him, “We’ve received a holo message, sir, from Sergeant Erso.”

“What! Well, where is it, can I see it?” Cassian stepped up very close to the private, his whole body vibrating with nervous anticipation.

Private Weems raised a hand, palm up, his eyes imploring. “Captain Andor, General Draven feels it pertinent to remind you that this does not change Sergeant Erso’s status. She is still considered missing in action.” He held the disc firm in his hands, until Cassian nodded.

Cassian waited a few minutes after Private Weems left, trying to steady his breaths, before he inserted the disc into the holo projector with shaky hands. Jyn’s form emerged, and his chest suddenly felt like it had been stabbed. She looked exhausted, she had a black eye and a fat lip and there was blood on her shirt. Her green eyes shone fierce and bright though, and this gave Cassian hope.

“Cassian,” she began, “They’re letting me make one last message to you, but I have to be quick.” She looked away for a split second, before turning back, her eyes intense, “Don’t come for me,” her voice was stern, and Cassian’s heart sank. “Just know, I hold you here,” she cupped her hands together and placed them over her chest, “in my heart.”

The message cut out.

\---

Cassian lay on his bunk, going over the message in his mind.

_ Don’t come for me _

_ Just know _

_ I hold you here _

_ In my heart _

He tried not to remember the way they held each other before she left, the way her arms wrapped around his middle, the way he held her against his chest. He shut his eyes tight, her words echoing in his head.

_ I hold you here _

_ Hold you _

_ Hold _

He sat up suddenly, almost gasping for breath. She was trying to tell him something.

\---

Cassian burst into the communications room where Draven was consulting with some officers.

“I know where Jyn is being held!”

\---

It took some time to convince Draven of his theory, but in the end Draven implicitly trusted Cassian, and so his mission to rescue Jyn was a go. Kaytoo and Bodhi joined him as they boarded their ship, and they planned to meet up with Chirrut and Baze on the way. Through some thorough investigating of the sector Jyn had been in, they were able to pinpoint where she had been seen last, and thanks to some Alliance contacts in the area they got a good lead on where the bounty hunters would’ve been headed. When the bounty hunters’ ship was in their sights, Cassian gripped the controls hard, hands shaking and palms sweating.

“Cassian, based on Jyn’s message and your interpretation of said message, there is an eighty-six percent chance this mission will be unsuccessful.”

Bodhi looked to Cassian, his eyes wide.

“Bodhi, just keep the ship ready. Kay, Chirrut, Baze, you’re with me.” Cassian climbed out of the co-pilot’s chair, strapped his blaster on and prepared to board the bounty hunters’ ship.

\---

Once they knew what kind of freighter the bounty hunters had commandeered, they were able to study the prints, and were able to determine there would be a secret cargo hold in the center of the ship, in its heart.

_ I hold you here _

_ In my heart _

Cassian made for the compartment as Chirrut, Baze, and Kaytoo held off the bounty hunters, his heart thudding in his chest at the thought of seeing Jyn again. He’d never had it in him to believe anything else, despite Kaytoo’s morbid odds. He knew Jyn, he was sure of her message.

A quick blast to the control panel and the door hissed open, and shoved into that cramped space was a sight that brought Cassian to his knees. Jyn was hunched over on her side, her arms protecting her head from whatever was going to come at her from the other side of the door. But when she looked up, straight into Cassian’s eyes, she somehow found the strength to launch herself into his arms.

Baze and Chirrut provided cover as they ran back to their ship, Cassian supporting Jyn, Kaytoo disabling the controls on the bounty hunters’ ship. Once aboard Cassian yelled to Bodhi to punch it, and they entered hyperspace.

\---

It didn’t take long for Jyn to recover, just some bacta patches, and a lot of rest had been prescribed. Later that night they lay in Cassian’s bunk, arms and legs entwined, keeping as much of their bodies touching as possible. Cassian could feel her chest rise and fall against him, could feel her heartbeat strong and steady, and he never wanted to know how it would ever feel to lose her. He clutched her closer to him, and she stirred in her sleep. He kissed the top of her head, holding her hand to his chest, and thought to himself,

_ I hold you here, too _

_ In my heart _

_ \--- _

**Prompt: A kiss that blocks out the rest of the world for minutes.**

The ship rocks back and forth as Bodhi navigates them through the asteroid field, Kaytoo spouting odds every now and then that dwindle every time something hits them. Chirrut sits chanting at the back of the ship, while Baze cleans his cannon meticulously, occasionally grunting in response to Chirrut’s words.

Cassian sits on the floor of the ship, his back against the wall, his teeth gritted as Jyn applies a bacta patch to the blaster wound on his arm. The ship sways again, and Jyn curses.

“Bodhi! For kriff’s sake try to keep the ship steady!”

“Trying! Kinda hard when you’re flying through asteroids! At least we lost those TIEs.”

Jyn finishes applying the bacta, sighing with relief as she passes the back of her hand across her forehead. Cassian looks better after the bacta, he’s not gritting his teeth anymore, but he’s flushed and sweating and Jyn worries her lip.

“Bodhi we need to get back to base  _ now _ !” Jyn keeps her hand on Cassian’s shoulder, at least he’s returning her gaze, brown eyes clear.

“Gotta make sure those TIEs didn’t follow us first, can’t risk them following us back to the base.” Bodhi enters some calculations into the nav computer, and Kaytoo starts to protest. Jyn leaves them to their bickering, and turns her attention to Cassian.

“You okay? We should be back soon.” She tries to sound confident but Cassian sees right through her and smiles. The ship rocks violently once more, Bodhi curses and Chirrut’s chants get louder.

Cassian closes his eyes. “I’d be better if I didn’t have to know what was going on.”

Jyn doesn’t waste any time then, straddling his hips and taking his face in her hands. Cassian’s eyes shoot open, but close again languidly when Jyn presses her lips to his. She feels him relax underneath her, feels his arms slip around her waist. His lips move against hers, sure and soft and tender, and Jyn quivers at how it makes her feel. Everything falls away and it’s just her and Cassian in their own bubble, in each other’s space, his hand pressed against the small of her back, and her hands cupping his jaw. He deepens the kiss, tenderness replaced by  _ want _ , and Jyn hums in the back of her throat as desire starts to burn up her spine. Cassian pulls her closer until she’s flush against him, and she threads her fingers into his hair. She presses the pads of her fingers lightly against his scalp, which always elicits a moan from deep in his throat, and Jyn smiles into the kiss.

Cassian finally pulls back, and they keep their foreheads pressed against each other as they catch their breaths. It takes some time, but the sounds and movement of the ship start to register again. Bodhi and Kaytoo are still arguing, Chirrut is still chanting, Baze still cleaning. The ship is still swooping through the asteroid field, shaking and rocking as smaller rocks strike its hull.

“Better?” Jyn asks, still breathless.

“So much.” Cassian sighs, pulling Jyn towards him so that she settles against his chest and he wraps his arms around her shoulders. The ship suddenly jolts and they both almost tip forward.

“Bodhi! What was that?”

The ship jolts again, and this time it’s unmistakable.

“Looks like those TIEs found us!”

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More snapshots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More (kiss) prompts (SFW).

**Prompt: kissing with a bruised lip**

 

“Cassian, really, I’m okay.”

 

“Do you need to go to the medbay?”   
  


“I don’t need to go to the medbay! It’s just a fat lip, I’ll be fine.” Jyn shoves him along the corridor, away from the direction of the medbay in which he had been heading. “I just need an icepack, you have one of those in your room, don’t you?”

 

Cassian nods as he examines her face, his eyes roving over her lips, and they head towards his quarters in companionable silence.

 

Once behind closed doors, Cassian pulls her into his arms, one hand slipping to the small of her back and the other threading into the hair at the base of her neck. He presses his lips to hers, but she pulls back sharply.

 

“Ow!” Her finger goes to her lip, red and puffy from the errant punch she took at the sparring session she had just come from.

 

“Kriff it! Sorry!” Cassian curses himself before breaking from her and retrieving an icepack. She presses it gingerly to her lip, and looks forlornly at him.

 

“It hurts too much to kiss.” Her eyes are so sad, the corners of her mouth turned down, that Cassian’s heart thumps in his chest at the sight of her.

 

“We’ll just have to get creative,” he says softly, gathering her into his arms once more. He presses his lips tentatively to the corner of her mouth, “Is this okay?” She nods. He grows bolder, ghosts his lips over hers. Jyn’s eyes flutter shut. “Still okay?” he whispers, and a sigh escapes her lips. 

 

He continues to kiss her then, ever so softly, and when he exerts a little too much pressure and she recoils slightly, he moves to the corner of her mouth again, trailing kisses along her jawline. When he reaches her ear he takes her earlobe lightly between his teeth, before sucking on it soothingly, and a moan escapes Jyn’s throat. Cassian repeats the action on the other side of her face, before he cups her chin and places kisses on both cheeks, on the tip of her nose, and on her forehead.

 

“Better?” he asks, pressing his forehead against hers.

 

“Better,” she whispers breathlessly, slipping her arms around his waist and pulling him closer to her.

 

\---

 

**Prompt: A kiss that shouldn't have happened, but neither regrets it. -OR- 2. A kiss even though "we're just friends" (a "platonic" kiss that is anything but)**

 

“Happy birthday, Jyn.” Cassian smiled as torn pieces of wrapping paper went flying, knowing how eager Jyn was to get to the present inside the box.

“Cassian…?” There was a long pause as Jyn stared inside the box, her head bowed, hair falling into her face.

“Is it okay?” Cassian asked nervously. He’d wracked his brain for weeks trying to find the right present for Jyn, annoying Kay and Bodhi in the process. They’d both just told him to get her what he’d been getting her since the beginning of their friendship, since they all knew how notoriously difficult Jyn was to shop for.

“I’m telling you, the latest Star Wars book is a sure thing. You know how much she loves that stuff.” Bodhi had told him over a beer. Kay had sighed beside them, as Cassian shook his head.

“Not this time Bodhi. I want to get something  _ special _ .” Bodhi and Kay had both turned to Cassian at the same time, their eyebrows raised questioningly.

“NOT what I meant. I just mean something  _ different _ . Star Wars books are boring.” Cassian had huffed, turning away so his friends wouldn’t see the burning he felt in his cheeks.

Jyn was still staring, unmoving.

“I tried to make it as similar as I remember, I found someone on Etsy who made necklaces like that so I described it to her and she did the best she could.” Cassian spoke fast, as if the words spilling out of his mouth could soothe what he had just screwed up, because he was confident he’d screwed up since Jyn wasn’t talking, or even looking at him.

“Cassian, I-- It’s perfect.” Jyn whispered softly, pulling the necklace reverently out of the box. The cord was even frayed like her old necklace had been, the one her mother had given her before she died, and the one Jyn had lost on a hike with Cassian and Bodhi in the mountains. Jyn had been inconsolable after that, the necklace the last thread she had to a mother she lost as a child.

Cassian sighed with relief. “I described the crystal as best I could, I hadn’t really seen it up close but I think she did a good job. I made sure to get her to fray the cord to look like your old one--”

Jyn suddenly wrapped her arms tight around him. “Thank you, Cassian.”

“Of course,” he responded, returning her hug, and then she was pulling away and looking at him with gratitude, and he smiled at her, and she smiled back. She reached up to kiss him on the cheek as they’d done many times before as friends, on New Year’s, in gratitude for things given, as hello or goodbye, in times of comfort and crisis. This time, she lingered, her lips hovering over his cheek giving him goosebumps, and something flipped in his chest that he didn’t know he’d buried there. All he needed to do was turn his face, and then their lips would meet, and before he could even think more about it he was turning his head just as she was pushing forward, and their lips met.

He couldn’t know how it would feel, but in that moment he realized that he had wondered, that he had thought about it longer than he should, that he had pushed such thoughts away because she was his  _ best friend _ . Now, she was kissing him, and a part of him, a fleeting part of him, wondered if it was the right thing to do, but then she slipped an arm around his waist, and her fingers threaded into his hair, and he lost all cohesive thought. She kissed him with passion, with all the emotion of years of being by his side, and he returned her kiss in kind. When he deepened the kiss, a hum escaped the back of her throat, and he selfishly hoped he could hear it again.

The kiss seemed like it lasted forever, yet at the same time it felt like a moment that ended too soon. Jyn pulled away first, keeping her head bowed, but Cassian could see the flush that colored the apples of her cheeks.

“Cassian, I’m sorry--”

“No, Jyn, it’s my--”

They were interrupted though, when their friends burst into the apartment, with Bodhi coming over to give Jyn a big birthday hug, and Kay patting her on the back, and Baze bringing the cake into the kitchen. Chirrut hung back in the doorway, his face serene.

“Well it’s apparent you’ve started the party without us,” he grinned knowingly at the two of them, who still stood awkwardly facing each other in the middle of the living room.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More snapshots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From a prompts meme on tumblr.

**Prompt: things you said too quietly**

The monitors beeped too loudly in the quiet room, the sound reverberating in Cassian’s ears. Outside the birds chirped because it was spring, and there was a murmur of chatter coming from the hallway through the partially propped open door.

 

Jyn was lying so still.

 

He’d been in the middle of an important meeting when his phone vibrated incessantly in his pocket, and when he’d finally fished it out after ignoring it twice, the message displayed on his screen made his heart stop. It was from Bodhi.

 

_ Jyn was hurt in an accident. Come to the hospital quickly. _

 

Cassian ran out of the room without a backward glance.

 

By the time he got there she was in surgery, and Bodhi filled him in on what happened. No matter how grateful he was for Bodhi, he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy that Bodhi had been the one they called and not him. Jyn must have changed her emergency contact, which was fitting, he figured, since he hadn’t seen her or talked to her since their breakup almost a year ago.

 

He stayed with her as they wheeled her out of surgery, sat on a chair by her bedside as he waited for her to wake up. Bodhi had gone home, but not before getting Cassian’s reassurance that he would call him as soon as she woke up. The doctors were optimistic, but they couldn’t give a definitive timeline. Cassian would wait as long as was necessary.

 

Time ticked on but Cassian didn’t notice, hours went by, medical personnel came in and went out. Bodhi eventually came back, telling Cassian he would take over, but Cassian refused to leave. He napped on a cot in the corner as Bodhi sat by Jyn’s side, recounting stories of his day to her unconscious form. 

 

“You know, you could talk to her.” Cassian had woken up, and was sitting on the edge of the cot with his head in his hands, “The doctors say it might help. It certainly couldn’t hurt.” Bodhi stood in front of Cassian, and put his hand on his shoulder.

 

“Thanks Bodhi. I’d feel weird about it though.” Cassian spared a weary smile for his friend, and nodded at him in gratitude. Bodhi patted his shoulder before moving towards the door. Just before he reached it, he turned back.

 

“You know, she may not have talked about you much in the past year, or at all really, but I know she never changed the way she felt about you. Maybe there were times when she cried on my shoulder and refused to talk about it, but you didn’t hear that from me.” He didn’t wait for an answer, just disappeared behind the door and left Cassian to his thoughts.

 

Cassian moved again to the chair by Jyn’s bedside. She lay so still, her face pale. Cassian reached over and brushed a strand of hair away from her face, and he was suddenly struck with memories he’d tried so hard to forget.  _ Talk to her _ , Bodhi had said.  _ She never changed the way she felt about you _ .

 

“Jyn.” It came out as barely a whisper, Cassian still so very self-conscious in that quiet room. The monitors continued beeping. “Jyn.” The second time her name left his lips broke something within him, and he had to scrub the back of his hand over his eyes to ground himself.

 

“I don’t know what to say, and I feel like an idiot right now.”  _ I am an idiot _ , he thought to himself. “Bodhi said to talk to you, so here I am, talking.” He couldn’t help a bitter exhale of breath escape his lips. “I wished we’d talked before, talked everything over.” He dropped his head into his hands. “I wish I’d had a chance to make this better before--” he choked on his words, bile rising in his throat as he thought of what he could have done, what he could have avoided, how he could have been better for her.

 

“I love you, Jyn,” he whispered, taking her hand in his, “I always have. I always will.” The silence that followed rang in his ears, but suddenly there was pressure on his hand, and he looked up to see Jyn’s eyes open, intensely focused on him.

 

The monitors beeped loudly, their sounds filling the room, as doctors and nurses filed in, checking her vitals, and they were all sounds Cassian couldn’t be more grateful for.

\---

**Prompt: things you said at the kitchen table**

They prepared dinner together in silence, a predetermined sequence of steps they’d done many times before, so words weren’t needed necessarily. Except Cassian suspected something was up, with the way Jyn turned away from him too quickly, with the way she never met his eyes, or avoided touching him if she could. The argument they’d had that morning certainly didn’t help things either.

He’d noticed she’d been on edge lately, probably something work-related, but she’d also been taking a lot of time off, and working from home a lot more. She was distant and snapped at him more than usual, and by then he couldn’t help but think it had something to do with him. He tried to talk about it, but she waved him off, mumbled something about being tired, and retreated to the bedroom.

The food was set on the table in silence, and they sat down to eat it in silence. Cassian would chance glimpses at Jyn but her eyes were always downcast, staring at her food, or at the placemat, or at the grain of the wood in their kitchen table.

He took a risk.

“Baze got into another row at work today.” His voice cut through the silence like a jackhammer. “It was all Chirrut’s fault, really. He made a sarcastic comment that really pissed off Merrick, but he said it so sweetly, you know how Chirrut is.” Cassian tried to chuckle, but he felt no humor so it came out more like a snort. He soldiered on. “Baze got his back up, and Merrick wouldn’t back down. Eventually Draven had to step in before it got  _ really _ ugly.”

His attempt at conversation was only met with more silence, the sound of Jyn’s fork scraping against her plate the only sound in the room. Cassian put his fork down.

“Jyn, talk to me. Please.”

Still silence. Jyn continued to stare at her food.

“Listen, whatever it is, we can get through it. Is it work?”

Jyn shook her head.

“Is it your parents?”

Jyn shook her head again.

“Is it… me?”

She sat so very still, and Cassian began to panic.

_ I want a divorce. _

_ I’m cheating on you. _

_ I never loved you. _

_ You disgust me. _

He tried to shake his head of all the horrible thoughts passing through it. “Jyn, I don’t know what I did, but if we could just talk about it--”

“I’m pregnant.”

Cassian almost fell off his chair. “Are you- are you sure?”

“I took the test, twice. I went to my doctor, then to another doctor, and they were all telling me the same thing. So yeah, I’m sure.” She still didn’t meet his eyes, still stared at the table. “I’m sorry it happened this way, I know we were supposed to talk about it first, your job is really stressful right now, we’re still waiting on the house, I just started at my new position--”

Jyn was cut off by Cassian getting up from his chair and kneeling by her side, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“Cassian? You’re not angry?”

“Angry? Jyn, I’m ecstatic!” He pressed a soft kiss to her lips, and she finally relaxed her shoulders, wrapping her arms around him and falling into his embrace. She settled into his lap on the floor, and he stroked her back and pressed small kisses to the top of her head.

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch lately.”

“Not at all.”

“Liar.”

“Okay, maybe a little.” Cassian smirked as Jyn punched him lightly in the stomach.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More snapshots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From a prompts meme on tumblr.

**Prompt: things you said when you thought i was asleep**

The stormtrooper pushed Jyn into the cell with a hard shove, and before she could whip around and return the favor, the door closed shut with a whoosh. She cursed as she turned into the darkened cell, before promptly tripping over something soft at her feet. She went down with more muttered curses, but when she went to feel for what she had tripped over she gasped. She would recognize the worn leather of that Alliance-issued jacket anywhere, and the stubble that graced his chin.

 

“Cassian!” She shook him lightly by the shoulders, but there was no response. They’d spared her in their interrogation, clearly they hadn’t spared him. Jyn seethed.

 

“I’ll kriffing kill those bastards,” she spit out through her teeth, as she felt him for any serious injuries. The light was faint enough so she could see his outline, and she examined his face as best she could. She was relieved to see no major injuries, a cut above his left eye that a bacta patch could easily handle, and no broken bones as far as she could feel. She shook him again to try and wake him, wanting to make sure he was well, but also not wanting to be alone in that cell.

 

“Cassian!” she called again, but still no answer. She sighed heavily, cradling his head in her lap as she sat against the wall. She might as well make him comfortable, since she didn’t know if the others knew they’d been captured. There were strict orders from Draven that there would be no extractions, but she saw Bodhi’s face when he’d said it. The man had defected from the  _ Empire _ , there was no way he’d be afraid of disobeying Draven’s orders.

 

Still, she couldn’t help but think it was her fault that they’d been captured, and that their lullaby pills had been taken away. Cassian had been in trouble, and although she had been clear, she’d gone back for him. She’d hear it from him for sure once he woke up.  _ If _ he woke up. If they ever got out of there. Jyn was never one for pessimism, but their odds did not look good. And the longer Cassian was unconscious, with a possible head injury, the worse it would be.

 

“Oh gods, Cassian,” she whispered to his unconscious form, “I’m so sorry.” She stroked his brow, pushing the hair out of his face and tracing a line down his cheek with her finger. She’d never show this much tenderness to him when he was awake, never expose herself like that. The looks and the brushes of arms was enough, there was too much at stake if she opened her heart to him now. Scarif had spooked her, had shown her how much she could lose, and how much it could hurt.

 

“We need to get out of here.” She looked around the small room but even in the semi-darkness she could see no way out. “ _ You _ need to get out of here.” She couldn’t imagine a life without him, but furthermore, she couldn’t imagine any world where Cassian Andor didn’t live.

 

“I can’t lose you,” she finally admitted, dropping her forehead down to his. The brush of his hair was soft against her forehead, and she allowed herself to imagine for a moment what it must be like to be with him, to be in his arms, to kiss him and love him and be  _ together _ , instead of alone. Always alone. “Stay with me, please?” She involuntarily squeezed his shoulder, and he stirred. Jyn froze. “Cassian?” 

 

There was a moment of silence that seemed to stretch forever, before Cassian finally cleared his throat. He struggled to get up and Jyn helped him into a sitting position. He finally met her eyes, and it could have been a trick of the bad lighting but Jyn could swear she could see a glint in them.

 

“Are you alright?” she managed to ask, her throat suddenly dry.

 

Cassian smiled, just a small uptick of the corners of his mouth, but it was enough to make Jyn’s heart stutter.

 

“I’m better than alright. You’re here with me.”

 

“They threw me into this cell, I had no idea you were in here--”

 

Cassian suddenly moved closer, so that his face was so very close, their noses almost touching. He took Jyn’s face gently in his hands. “Jyn, I can’t lose you either.”

 

“Y-you heard me?” Jyn could feel her face flushing, the heat rising to her cheeks. Cassian nodded. “How long have you been awake?”

 

Cassian grinned, the corners of his eyes wrinkling pleasantly. “Long enough.”

 

There was a sudden blast and the door flew open to reveal Bodhi in a stormtrooper uniform, his helmet in his hands.

 

“Would you two stop making googly eyes at each other and come on!”

 

\---

 

**Prompt: things you said when you were scared**

The knock on his door roused Cassian from a fitful sleep, getting up quickly and throwing pants and a shirt on to answer it. Jyn stood at his door, and if it were possible to look defiant and sheepish at the same time she managed it.

“Jyn?”

She bit her lip, before the words tumbled out of her in a rush. “I was sitting with Bodhi and the other pilots and they were telling weird stories about spirits that roam about on the other side of the temple and that’s why no one goes there and I just laughed at them but now I can’t sleep.” She huffed and crossed her arms in front of her. “Can I sleep here?”

Cassian blinked, tried oh so hard not to break into a smile. “Of course.” He stepped aside to let Jyn into his room. She walked in, stopped by the side of the bed for a moment, before she shrugged her shoulders and climbed in, pasting herself to the side closest to the wall. Cassian pressed his lips together, and climbed in beside her. There was at least a foot of room between them, and the bed wasn’t big to begin with. Cassian sighed.

  
“You know, you can move over some more. There’s plenty of room.”

Jyn cautiously rolled over until she was on her back, her face still turned away. Their shoulders brushed, and they both froze.

“Okay?” Cassian managed to squeak out. Jyn nodded stiffly. Cassian turned off the light, and a heavy silence filled the room.

“Cassian?” Jyn finally whispered into the darkness, “Are you asleep?”

“Not yet.”

“Tell me I’m being stupid, but it’s not true, is it? About the spirits?”

“You’re not stupid.”

“So it’s true?!”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Will you tell me if it’s true or not?”

“What difference does it make, Jyn? They may or may not be there. It really depends on what you believe.”

Jyn was silent for so long that Cassian thought she’d fallen asleep. Until the sheets rustled, and he could feel her turning towards him, and tentatively getting closer. The warmth of her body next to him sent a jolt through his spine.

“Cassian?”

“Mm?”

“Will you-- hold me?”

Cassian hesitated only for a moment, before he turned to her and wrapped his arms around her. “Is this okay?” His heart thudded in his chest, and he hoped she couldn’t feel it.

“Much better.” She sighed, and Cassian could feel her body relaxing in his arms. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, Jyn.” And he secretly hoped there would be more times like this.

 

\---

 

**Prompt: Things you said when you walked in on me naked**

_ Come on, Jyn! Just come out for one drink _

_ Can’t, my stupid roommate is bringing someone over and I need to eavesdrop _

_ Creep _

_ And I know you don’t think he’s stupid _

_ You like him _

_ Admit it _

_ Fuck that _

_ He’s weird _

_ He’s hot weird _

_ Like Han is? _

_ Lol _

_ Shut up _

_ I know you like him _

_ Leave it alone Leia! _

_ Only if you come and have a drink with me _

_ Ffs! Fine! Let me go get ready _

Jyn went to knock on the door of the bathroom, where Cassian had been for the past hour.

“Cassian?” she knocked a few times, but she could hear the water running in the shower, “I need to use the bathroom. Can you hurry up?” No response. She went into her room to change, but when she got out the door was still closed. Her phone buzzed.

_ Hurry up? What’s taking so long? _

_ Fucking Casanova is still in the gd shower! _

_ Well just go in there and do your thing _

_ He won’t see _

Jyn sighed heavily. The water had stopped, so he must have been done, probably toweling off behind the curtain. She could sneak in and grab her makeup bag, and sneak back out. She turned the doorknob and opened the door, only to get an eyeful of her roommate’s bare ass.

“Holy fucking shit on a stick!”

Cassian was so surprised he turned around, grabbing a towel too late. Jyn had seen everything, front and back.

“So sorry, just needed to get my chest-- uh, kit! Makeup kit! And my hairy... um,  _ hair _ brush.” She peeled her eyes away from Cassian’s wet body, trying to ignore the way his skin glistened, defining the lines of his arms and chest and stomach and…

She hastily grabbed whatever kit and brush she could reach, not daring to touch him as he stood in the middle of the small bathroom, hair dripping, clutching the towel in front of his crotch.

Jyn slammed the door hard behind her.

_ Well? _

_ Shit Leia _

_ SHIT SHIT SHIT _

_ Wth? _

_ I just saw my roommate naked _

_ WHAT _

_ SPILL _

_ IS HE WELL ENDOWED _

_ Omg? _

_ Lemme get a few drinks in me and I’ll tell you all about it _

 

_ \--- _

 

**Prompt: things you didn’t say at all**

The explosion in the sky of the Endor moon was so bright it lit up everything in Jyn’s line of vision, and for a moment all she could see was white. She was reminded of another time, another explosion. She slipped her hand in Cassian’s, just like she had done then, and he squeezed her hand to reassure her.

_ I’m here _ , he seemed to say.

She appreciated that about him, that he knew when she couldn’t speak, when words were just too much, too much to think, too much to process, too much for what she was feeling. They stared up at the sky together, while everyone around them whooped and cheered. Rebels and ewoks were hugging, but still they stood side by side, fingers entwined. Jyn turned towards Cassian.

_ I’m glad you’re here with me _ , she didn’t say, but she could see in the tilt of his head that he understood. She finally slipped her arms around his waist, and he returned her embrace, and they held each other like they did on that beach not so long ago.

_ I’m so happy we’re alive _ , she said in the grip of her fingers on his jacket.

_ I’m so happy we made it _ , she said in the exhale of breath against his neck.

_ Thank you for being with me, for staying with me, for believing in me _ , she said in the thread of her fingers through his hair. She pulled back, and their eyes locked, and in his she could finally see a future that had eluded her for so long. Stretching up on the tips of her toes she touched her lips to his, and in this kiss she said,  _ thank you for giving me a home _ .


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More snapshots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From a prompts meme on tumblr.

**Prompt: things you said when you were scared**

He knew it was a dreamscape, because everything kept changing, the sky turned into ceiling, the hallway into a forest of trees, the birds chirping became people talking. In every iteration, Jyn was ahead of him, just ahead, close enough that if he sprinted he could catch her, but every time he tried she disappeared. The stone floor turned to sand, he stumbled. The flat surface turned to stairs, and he tripped. The ground rose and fell, and rose again, then turned to water and he was spluttering as he tried to swim.

 

Jyn was always ahead. Just out of reach.

 

A mountain rose up, and he climbed it, scrabbling for purchase, as Jyn climbed high above him. Then a shadow passed him and he realized that it was her. She was falling. He opened his mouth to scream but no sound came out, and he wanted to let go, to fall with her…

 

“Cassian? Are you okay?”

 

He heard her before he saw her, thinking he was still in his dream, but when he opened his eyes he was in his quarters on Echo Base. Jyn’s face hovered over him, her brow furrowed with concern.

 

“Jyn? What happened?” His voice was hoarse, like he’d had a cold or he’d been shouting.

 

“You were screaming in your sleep, or at least trying to. You were very agitated.” Jyn brushed a lock of hair away from his eyes, and he suddenly realized he was bathed in a cold sweat. He shivered, and Jyn pulled the blanket up and over him.

 

“Was it Scarif again?” she asked quietly, adjusting the blanket around him and not meeting his eyes.

 

“No.” Cassian sighed, stared up at the ceiling. “And yes.” He remembered the sand he stumbled through.

 

“I’m sorry, Cassian.” Her eyes were sad, but sincere, “It’ll get better with time.” She rubbed his shoulder, then bent down and gave him a kiss on the cheek. His skin burned where her lips had touched.

 

“Stay.” He suddenly sat up, grabbed her hand.

 

“I’m not leaving until tomorrow, don’t worry.”

 

“No, I mean, stay with me. Stay here on Hoth. Don’t go with the Pathfinders.”

 

Jyn sucked in a breath, “Cassian, I thought we’d been through this.”

 

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m a kriffing idiot.” He rubbed his hand through his hair. “My dreams, they’re always about losing you. About not being able to keep you safe.”

 

Jyn smiled at him, touched his cheek with the pads of her fingers. It was the most tender gesture he’d ever seen her do. It made his stomach flip.

 

“Cassian, you don’t have to take care of me. I’m pretty capable of taking care of myself.”

 

“I know you are. I just--” He paused, took in a shuddering breath, “I’m scared of losing you, Jyn.”

 

She didn’t hold back anymore, wrapped her arms around his neck so tight he almost lost air. He held her back just as tight, only because he knew she could take it. When she pulled back she kissed him, rough and sloppy but so full of tenderness and desire.

 

“I’ll be back before you know it,” she said, breathless, pressing her forehead against his.

 

“Stay with me until then?” He took her hands in his, rubbing soft circles into her palms.

 

“I can do that.” She snuggled up next to him, throwing the blanket over them both.

 

\---

**Prompt: things you said when we had to escape via the (fire)swamp**

“Jyn, we can’t go in there.”

“Why not? Would you rather be caught by Krennic?”

“We’ll never make it out alive.”

“Nonsense. They only say that because no one ever has.”

Blaster fire interrupted their conversation, as Krennic and his deathtroopers appeared at the top of the ridge. Cassian had no choice. He followed Jyn into the fire swamp.

\---

“See, it isn’t that bad!”

Cassian looked at her, eyes wide and mouth agape.

“I mean, I’m not saying I’d build a summer home here, but the trees are rather quite lovely.”

Cassian rolled his eyes.

\---

“So how did you end up in Wobani?”

“It’s a long story, really.”

“Does it start with the man in white?”

“With Krennic? Yes, I guess you could say it does.”

They’d made it through a good deal of the swamp unscathed, just errant vines and muddy sludge to maneuver through and around, when suddenly there was a popping sound. Cassian paused, looked at Jyn. Moments passed and nothing happened, so they both shrugged and moved on. Flames suddenly licked at their heels, and Cassian screamed as he hadn’t been fast enough to avoid them. He fell to the ground, the bottom hem of his pants on fire, and Jyn immediately ripped off her scarf and smothered them.

“Better?” she asked, with a reassuring smile. He nodded, sweat beading on his brow.

\---

“Krennic killed my mother, then took my father away, and I was picked up by Saw Gerrera and raised by him. I learned to fight, to shoot a blaster, to hack codes, anything I could to still be useful to him. I was still a child, you see.”

Cassian nodded as Jyn spoke, his brow furrowed as he processed her story. They continued hacking through the foliage, remembering to move aside once the popping noises began.

“But we picked you up as Liana Hallik, and under that name there was no mention of your parents, or Saw.” Cassian scratched his head.

“That’s because it was an alias! One of many I used, to avoid the name ‘Erso’ and all the connotations that came with it. Does that make sense?”

Cassian nodded thoughtfully, but as he took a step forward he suddenly disappeared with a whoosh into the sand. Jyn panicked.

“Cassian!” She was about to jump in after him, before she realized they had no way of getting out. Frantically looking around, she caught sight of a vine hanging above them. She cut one end, wrapped it around herself, and jumped in after Cassian.

It took monumental effort, but she was able to grab him, and together they hauled themselves out of the lightning sand. They sucked in deep breaths as they reached the surface, collapsing onto the ground in an exhausted heap.

“We’ll never make it out of here. We might as well die here.” Cassian was spitting out sand, his spirits were definitely sagging with each passing catastrophe.

“Nonsense!” Jyn helped him to stand. “What are the three dangers of the fire swamp? First, the flame spurts! Well that’s easy, there’s a popping sound that precedes each one. Next, it’s the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover.” They continued walking, before Cassian stopped her, suddenly remembering something.

“Wait, what about the Nexu?”

“Really ugly creature with four eyes and a hairless tale? I don’t think they exist.” Jyn had just finished her sentence when a large shadow jumped at her from a nearby tree, throwing her to the ground. Jyn held it off as best she could, but it overpowered her and sunk its teeth into her shoulder. Jyn let out an anguished cry.

Cassian stared in shock, but was just about to jump to Jyn’s defense when another creature came at him, and he was only able to grab a nearby branch to defend himself with. Jyn saw Cassian in trouble, with only a branch as a weapon, and knew he had no chance. She had to get the beast off her, but it had pinned her truncheons behind her back. Suddenly a popping sound could be heard nearby, and with great effort she rolled the beast that was on top of her, just as the flame spurt erupted. The beast went down with a strangled cry.

Jumping to Cassian’s aid, brandishing her truncheons, she felled the beast with a few swift strokes to the head. Cassian let out a sigh of relief.

\---

They emerged into the light, and Cassian had to blink his eyes several times to adjust to the brightness, and also to make sure it was real.

“We made it,” he whispered, and it came out almost like a question.

“You see? You just need to trust me, Cassian.” She turned to him, slipped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a victorious kiss.

 

\---

**Prompt: things you said with no space between us**

The cargo hold wasn’t the best place to be for interplanetary space travel, but for two stowaways on an Imperial shuttle it would have to do.

“You know they’ll find us as soon as we land! They always do a scan!”

“I know that! Just-- just leave it to me.”

“I’m really starting to wonder if you’ve done this before.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean, maybe you’re not so great a spy after all!”

Cassian was about to open his mouth to retort, when there was a shuffling overhead, and muffled voices filtered down. He put a finger to his mouth to motion for Jyn to be quiet. She just rolled her eyes.

“We sustained some damage to the outer hull from the rebels as we were taking off, sir. We’ll need extensive repairs when we get back.”

The officers shuffled off, and Cassian let out the breath he’d been holding.

“That’s your fault.” Jyn grumbled.

“What’s my fault?” Cassian shot back.

“You shot at them! Now they’re damaged and we can’t avoid a complete inspection anymore!”

“They were shooting at you!”

“I had it under control!” Jyn hissed, but at that moment, the ship lurched violently, and she was thrown head first into Cassian’s chest. He caught her, breath leaving his chest in a heaving gasp as she landed on him. They found themselves pressed against the wall of the hold, as the ship attempted to right itself. Cassian wasn’t moving or talking, and Jyn grew concerned. Her head hit his chest quite hard, and if her head was throbbing then he must’ve been in great pain as well.

“Cassian!” she shook him lightly, fisting her hands into his jacket, “Are you okay?” He tried to take a deep breath, but his face contorted in pain as his chest rose.

“It hurts to breathe,” he whispered, and Jyn’s face fell, “but other than that, I’m fine.” He attempted a weak smile, his dark eyes piercing hers.

“Don’t lie,” she hadn’t uncurled her fingers from his jacket, in fact she tightened them further. Her eyes searched his face, and at that proximity her entire field of vision was him. “Don’t lie to me, Cassian.” Her voice was soft now, all the anger gone.

“I would never lie to you, Jyn,” he whispered, gasping every time he took a breath. And he wouldn’t, and she knew that. Just like he would never let her get hurt, never leave her behind. He’d been free and clear when she had snuck into the cargo hold, he should’ve gone back to their ship to rendezvous with K2, and sit tight and wait for her call, just like they’d planned. But he couldn’t leave her.

“You shouldn’t be here, Cassian,” she whispered into his neck, and he shuddered.

“I know. I’m sorry.” The ship finally righted itself, and gravity put Jyn back on her feet. She didn’t let go of him. Instead, she pulled him down by his jacket and kissed him, taking his breath away once again.

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you are,” she smiled at him, a rare, vulnerable, beautiful thing. “But if you pull this stunt again, I swear I’ll throw you out the kriffing airlock myself.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More snapshots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From a prompts meme on tumblr.

**Prompt: things you said after you kissed me (slightly nsfw)**

They’d been exchanging glances across the U-wing, where only Chirrut would have noticed them except, well, he was blind. Bodhi was firmly ensconced in the co-pilot’s chair engaged in a serious conversation about the hazards of imperial protocols with K2, and Baze was doing what Baze did best: cleaning his gun.

 

The looks had started out innocently enough;  _ hey, thanks for having my back back there, no problem, thanks for having mine, bumpy ride, isn’t it?, can’t wait to hit the ‘fresher when we get back, do you need some help washing your back? _ , and it escalated quite quickly from there. It got to the point where Jyn was squirming in her seat, and Cassian sat so very still, making sure his balled-up jacket stayed firmly in his lap.

 

When they finally landed they waited for everyone else to disembark, Cassian making a passing remark about checking the supply reserves, and Jyn pretending to look for something she had misplaced. Bodhi had wanted to stay behind and help Cassian, but Chirrut took him firmly by the arm.

 

“Don’t worry, the captain and Jyn have this all under control.” And with a knowing look back at the two in question, he turned around and guided Bodhi out of the ship, slamming the panel to close the door behind them. Jyn and Cassian exchanged one last look, before they dropped whatever they were doing and closed the space between them.

 

They kissed each other like it was the first time, like it was the last time, like they would never have another opportunity, like they had all the time in the world. Cassian held Jyn tight against him, as if she would disappear if he let go. His fingers gripped into the back of her jacket, and he pulled her up and against him. Jyn clung to Cassian’s neck, standing on the tips of her boots, her fingers threading through his hair. It was a push and pull of desire, as they took turns deepening the kiss, and traded moans and hums of pleasure. 

 

It was only a matter of time before it became  _ really _ intense.

 

Jyn pressed herself against Cassian, wanting more, and he groaned as she brushed against his arousal. He broke from her lips to kiss a line down her neck, and as he hit her pulse points she moaned, a long, beautiful, airy thing that filled the space of the ship. Cassian lifted the hem of her shirt, and his hands were warm on her stomach, moving up and over her breastband to thumb at her nipples through the fabric. She gasped when one hand moved down, down past her waistband, under her underwear, and cupping her between her legs.

 

Not to be outdone, she nipped at his earlobe, and a guttural sound escaped his lips. She, too, slipped her hand down his pants, and not wasting any time she rubbed his hardness over the fabric of his underwear. Cassian inhaled sharply, and Jyn’s hand froze.

 

“We should stop?” she whispered into his neck, and her breath against his skin made him shudder.

 

“We should stop.” He nodded, breathless.

 

“Meet you in my quarters?”

 

“Mine are closer.”

 

“What are you waiting for then?” With a smirk she pulled away, hitting the panel for the door and sprinting away into the hangar.

 

\---

**Prompt: things you said under the stars and in the grass**

She never thought she’d ever come back here, but the war was over,  and it was time to live again. Cassian had been surprised when she’d mentioned it, he’d expected her to never want to set foot on that planet again, after all that had happened to her there. But she was resolute in her decision.

She’d stepped off the ship and into the verdant grass, and the memories came back in a flood. The homestead was long gone, but other than that not much had changed. She forced herself to take a step at a time, one foot in front of the other, reliving memories she had buried long ago.

She ran in this grass. She played in these fields.

Jyn bent down, felt the blades between her fingers. There was a mist in the air that left dewdrops, and she rubbed them into the grass with the pads of her fingers. 

_ I was happy here, for a while _ , she thought. Long days of playing with no one but herself, helping with chores, fetching her father from the fields. Days that turned into nights, her mother calling her in for supper, and not wanting to come in she would hide. Her father would eventually be dispatched to find her, and he would only shake his head, hauling her over his shoulder as she squealed with glee.

Jyn smiled at the memory. Night had fallen, and she realized she had been standing in that field longer than she thought. Cassian had been busy unloading the ship, and came now to stand by her side. The stars twinkled in the darkened sky above their heads, an impressive smattering of light.

“Are you sure about this place?” Cassian asked softly.

“It’s safe enough,” Jyn replied, her chin tilted towards the sky.

“That’s not what I meant.” Cassian turned to her, his brow furrowed in concern. She didn’t think she could ever get over how he looked at her, how his face could be so open and expressive with her, but with everyone else his spy face was unreadable. Jyn smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“This was home, once.” She looked around her, at the mountains and jagged cliffs she could see in relief, at the blades of long grass at her feet, all illuminated by starlight. “But home isn’t really a place for me anymore.” She fisted her hands into his jacket and pulled him to her, and he responded in kind, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. She pulled him down so that she could bury her face in his neck, inhaling his scent, and placed a soft kiss on the hollow of his throat. He hummed happily, tightening his arms around her.

“Home is wherever you are.”

\---

**Prompt: Things you said while we made love (slightly nsfw)**

It certainly wasn’t their first time together, but Jyn felt something different about it this time.

Cassian had been nervous, waiting for her outside the door to the briefing room, instead of in his quarters which he usually did. They’d had a pleasant enough conversation on the way, but Cassian walked stiffly and his lack of humor was strange. Normally he’d scoff good-naturedly at a criticism she had of Draven, or she would get a wry smile from some off the cuff remark she would make. Not this time, he clearly had his mind on something else.

“Cassian, I can go back to my quarters.” She wanted to give him an out if he had changed his mind, even if she was disappointed she certainly didn’t want to do anything he wasn’t interested in. But they were in his room now, and when the door closed shut behind them he finally relaxed. He gathered Jyn up into his arms, but she still regarded him with an upturned brow.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into her hair, “I was distracted. I’m good now.” He took her face in his hands, and the look in his eyes seemed to penetrate into her soul. All of Jyn’s doubts vanished as he kissed her, her knees going weak as they always did when he kissed her like that. She hummed in the back of her throat as he deepened the kiss, and she pressed her body against him, hungry for his touch. They moved to the bed, where clothes were finally discarded, and settled their bodies against each other, the warmth of bare skin electrifying.

Jyn shuddered as Cassian moved above her, his hands and his mouth combining to elicit a pleasure so intense she thought she would explode from that alone. His hands moved over her body, softly, almost reverently, the pads of his fingers raising goosebumps where they touched. The care he took with her, the time he took to make her feel nothing but pleasure, enveloped her like a warm embrace. No one had ever made her feel like that, and she was so grateful for him.

“Cassian,” she breathed, and she wanted to say something, to tell him, but his lips were on her neck and she lost her train of thought. He finally pulled back then, and the seriousness in his dark eyes had returned.

“Jyn.” He said her name like a prayer, like he was a drowning man and she was his salvation. He touched her face, softly, ghosting his fingers over her jaw, his eyes roving over her features, drinking them in. Jyn felt a bubbling in her throat, an ache in her chest as he looked at her. He pressed the softest of kisses to her lips, and the gentleness he was exhibiting with her in that moment almost made her fall apart. “I love you,” he finally whispered, when his lips broke from hers, and Jyn spiralled into a mess of emotions. He froze, waiting for her reaction.

She didn’t respond with words, just pulled him down and kissed him. She felt hot tears escape the corners of her eyes, and her heart was beating so fast she thought it would explode out of her chest. She threaded her hands through his hair and kissed and kissed him, his face, his neck, his shoulders, his chest, wherever she could reach.

When he finally entered her she cried out, with want, with need, with longing, with buried  _ love _ that she had kept bottled up inside of her. He moved inside her, and repeated the words, in Basic, in Festian, in any other language he knew. She held onto him tightly, never wanting to let go, and they reached their climax together, clinging onto each other.

Cassian settled against her side afterwards, sighing into her skin as his breathing began to even out. She wrapped an arm around him, and held him close to her, and soon the warmth of her body and the steadiness of her heartbeat lulled him to sleep. She kissed his brow.

“I love you too, Cassian,” she whispered, closing her eyes and letting sleep take her.

  
  



	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More snapshots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow-ups and prompts from tumblr

**Follow-up to the prompt "Things you said when you walked in on me naked" (from chapter 12)**

_Come on, just come out, you can’t be THAT sick!_

_Leia, I’m barfing up my insides here_

_So suck it up and come out with me?_

_NO_

_You’re no fun_

_Fuck off and don’t text me again_

Jyn threw her phone down, just in time to stumble to the bathroom to empty the contents of her stomach. She didn’t know if it was food poisoning, or a virus, but all she knew was that she couldn’t possibly have any more in her stomach to bring up. There was a knock on the bathroom door.

“Yeah,” Jyn managed to croak out, her throat burning.

“Do you need any help?” Cassian’s concerned voice drifted through the door.

“My hair’s not long enough for you to hold back, so there really isn’t anything you could do,” she called back, and she made her way to the sink to rinse her mouth. She happened to lean on a wet spot on the counter and slipped, falling to the floor in a heap. The door opened, and Cassian leaned down, slipping his arms underneath her.

“I got you.” He lifted her up, and prepared to carry her back to her room.

“Cassian, I’m okay! I can walk.” She shrugged out of his arms, but she couldn’t deny how nice it felt to be held by him. _Goddamn it Leia was right!_ , she thought, shaking her head as she shuffled off to her room. He trailed behind her, and if it had been any other roommate, she would have told him to get lost. But _Cassian_ , though, Cassian she could get used to…

When she got to her room she fell onto her bed, dizzy from emptying her stomach too many times and not enough sustenance to recover.

“Can I get you anything?” He hovered over her bed, not getting too close but still staying nearby.

“I’m fine, Cassian.”

“Glass of water?”

She couldn’t deny she needed one, her throat sore and dry, so she nodded without looking at him. He disappeared into the kitchen and came back with the water. He helped her sit up, and as she was about to gulp it down he stopped her.

“Small sips only,” he warned.

“What are you, a nurse?” she shot back, but he only smirked.

“If you swallow too much too fast you might throw up again.”

“Oh.” She felt sheepish, and followed his suggestion, and found after a few sips of water she actually started to feel better. She was surprised he hadn’t left the room yet, but she didn’t know if she really wanted him to.

“Better?” he asked, tilting his head towards her, a lock of hair falling into his eyes at the action. Jyn swallowed.

“Ye-es,” she drawled out, but if he thought she was better, he would probably leave. How could she draw this out more? _Leia would be cackling if she saw me now_ , Jyn thought.

“Is it a hangover? I know you went drinking with your friends last night.”

_Oh great, he thinks I’m an alcoholic._

“No!” she didn’t mean to yell, as his eyebrows shot up in surprise, “Not at all. I mean, yes I went out drinking with them, but I think it was something I ate.”

Cassian nodded thoughtfully. “Calamari? At Shoeless Joe’s?”

“Yeah? How did you know?”

“It happened to my buddy Kay last week.” He nodded at her sympathetically, and Jyn couldn’t get over the rich brown of his eyes. She didn’t realize she was staring, but he hadn’t made a move to avert his eyes either. Finally feeling self-conscious she turned away.

“Thanks for taking care of me,” and she was surprised by the softness in her own voice.

“No problem, Jyn,” he put a hand on her knee, and she froze, “We’re roommates, right?”

She couldn’t look him in the eye, everything had narrowed to his hand, the warm weight of it resting on her leg.

“Roommates. Right.” She nodded her head, finally looking up to see him still staring at her, his gaze steady and sure. She could have still been dizzy and it could have been the nausea making the room spin, but she was sure he was leaning towards her. His face seemed impossibly close, his nose almost touching hers…

There was a knock on the front door.

“Christ almighty,” Jyn swore, as Cassian went to answer it. Leia rushed into the room.

“Hey darling, how are you doing? I’m here to take care of you!”

“Leia, for fuck’s sake!” Jyn hissed.

Cassian leaned in, smiled at them both, “I’ll leave you in capable hands.” He shut the door softly behind him.

Leia whipped her head around to her friend, a bright, knowing, mischievous grin on her face.

“I KNEW IT!”

\---

**Prompt: A kiss that is supposed to be platonic but is anything but (same 'verse as prompt above)**

“Would you stop fiddling with that!” Leia hissed at Jyn, who was trying to smooth down the flouncy ruffles on her dress.

“I don’t know why you made me wear this thing anyway! I hate ruffles!” Jyn hissed back.

“It’s better than any of the potato sacks you pass off as dresses in your closet!”

“I happen to like potato sacks, okay!”

“Well that’s not gonna fly here!”

Leia’s mother turned to shush them both, and Jyn slumped in her seat. Leia had dragged her along to one of her parents’ posh charity dinners, mostly because she was fighting with Han and she didn’t want to be stuck with him the whole night. The catch had been that the tickets were only being sold to couples, and Breha insisted that Jyn bring a date.

“What about that dark haired man I saw you with? Is he your boyfriend? You should bring him.” Even though they had come out as questions, everyone knew with Leia’s mother it was purely a formality. The answer to her ‘questions’ was always _“Yes ma’am.”_ Jyn had no choice but to ask Cassian.

She’d waited till the last minute, mostly because she was pretty sure he’d say no, and she felt weird asking her roommate to come to such a fancy event when they had only known each other for a few months. She finally asked, casually, over take-out, after Leia had sent a barrage of threatening texts.

“So hey, this is weird, but Leia invited me to some charity dinner, and I’m kinda supposed to bring a date.” She let the statement hang in the air, hoping he would catch the hint. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him nod, as he reached for the last spring roll with his chopsticks.

“Sounds cool.”

“ _Not_ cool,” Jyn sighed. “So?”

Cassian finally turned to her, and she could see the gears in his head whirring. _Please say yes please say yes_.

She could tell he didn’t want to insult both their intelligences by saying _Are you asking me to be your date?_ but she could sure as hell see that he wanted to. Finally he just nodded, a small hint of a smile playing on his lips.

“Sure. Sounds like fun.”

She’d put on the ridiculous dress that Leia had lent her, and as she was fighting with the strap on her heels, Cassian had come into the room in his fancy tux. Jyn’s stomach had churned, and her throat had gone dry at the sight of him. To his credit, his jaw had unhinged as Jyn stood from the side of the bed, the hem of her dress swishing to her knees.

“Um,” he’d cleared his throat, “Bow tie. Help?”

They were both helpless at it, and ended up having to find a Youtube tutorial, except they both fought for dominance over who had gotten it, and in the end Leia’s father had to fix it when they arrived at the dinner (twenty minutes late because they were still fighting in the Uber over the best way of getting uptown).

The night was winding down though, and Bail and Breha were flitting around the tables, saying their goodbyes. Leia and Han had disappeared somewhere, no doubt making up, and Jyn rolled her eyes and cursed under her breath. She saw Leia’s parents heading towards their table, so she suddenly grabbed Cassian’s hand. He jolted at her touch, almost tipping over the glass of wine he was reaching for.

“The time to leave is now,” she hissed. Her cheeks were tired from smiling all night and she’d successfully avoided any attention on her pretend relationship, they just needed to make their escape…

“Jyn!” Breha’s voice stopped her in her tracks, as she was getting up from her chair, Cassian’s hand still in her firm grip. “Come and give me a hug before you leave,” she admonished, and Jyn had no choice but to turn back.

“Thank you both so much for coming,” Bail nodded to Cassian, and smiled warmly at Jyn.

“Thank you for having us, sir. We had a wonderful time.” Jyn turned to Cassian, surprised and impressed at the formality and sincerity in his voice.

“Well he sure is a handsome young man,” Breha cooed appraisingly, and Jyn fought the urge to roll her eyes. What she couldn’t fight though, was the blush that colored her cheeks. “You take care of our Jyn, she’s a special one.” Breha shooed Jyn towards Cassian.

“I will, ma’am.” Cassian wrapped an arm around Jyn, smiled down at her. Jyn’s heart did a flip in her chest. “And yes, she’s very special.” He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Jyn’s brow.

Breha nodded, seemingly satisfied with Cassian’s display, and hurried her husband off to continue their goodbyes. When they were out of earshot, Jyn turned to Cassian, her face burning.

“What was that for?” she whispered, and her mind was a jumble of emotions. Was she angry? Did she like it? _Should_ she like it? Did they take this too far? Were they still ‘just roommates’?

Cassian was still smiling at her, and under his breath he whispered, “They’re still watching.”

Sure enough, Jyn looked over to see Breha watching her like a hawk. She thought about coming clean, but the thought of Breha’s disappointment (Breha, who’d been like a mother to her after her own mother had died) and Leia’s ire held her back. Cassian seemed up for it, so she figured _what the hell, let’s continue with this charade_. She reached up, thankful for her heels so that she was closer, and pressed her lips to his. She had only meant for it to be a chaste peck, just a brief meeting of lips to satisfy Breha, and it had because she had turned away with a smile, but something kept her there, lingering. Maybe it was because he didn’t pull back either, just kept his lips pressed against hers, warm and soft and tasting like red wine.

She also didn’t realize she had her hands on his chest, and he had his arms around her waist, and all of a sudden the thought of it burned in her core. She didn’t know who moved first, or maybe they moved together, but suddenly they were kissing, not chastely, not pretending, real and soft and tentative, but still passionate. Cassian had tilted his head, falling deeper into the kiss, and goddamnit she should have known he could kiss like that. Her knees went weak and he held her tighter, just as someone whistled behind them.

“Get a room, you two!” Han had his arms crossed, watching them with a smug look on his face. Leia stood beside him, with the most wicked grin Jyn had ever seen on her. Reluctantly they separated, but Cassian kept his hand on the small of her back.

“I could say the same for you,” Jyn muttered, “Where have you been? I wanna get out of here.”

Leia laughed, grabbed Jyn’s arm and pulled her away from Cassian. She managed to look back and mouth _“I’m sorry”_ , but the look on his face wasn’t sorry at all. He was touching his lips, where she had just been, his eyes wide and bright. Han was smirking behind him.

“So we’re gonna ditch these losers and you’re going to tell me all about what I just saw...” Leia commanded, pulling Jyn out into the cool night air.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More snapshots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this one on its own because I don't know when the next prompt will come, so this will be a short "chapter". Continued from the previous chapter (roommate au).

**Prompt: You should write a fic (Rebelcaptain) that involves your favorite TV show in some way, au based on it, them watching it, etc.**

“So what’s this latest one we’re watching?” Cassian brought the popcorn bowl over as Jyn fiddled with the remote control.

“The Defenders.” Jyn managed around a mouthful of popcorn. Cassian shook his head at her, smiling, as he took a seat on the sofa beside her.

“So this one has all of the characters from those other shows?”

Jyn shook her head. “Just Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, and…” She stuffed more popcorn in her mouth as she contemplated, “Oh and that Iron Fist guy.”

Cassian nodded as the opening scene rolled. He glanced over at Jyn, whose eyes were riveted to the screen.

It had been a few days since their kiss at the charity dinner, since that line in the sand had been crossed. Except as roommates, it wasn’t a line in the sand, it should have been a firm permanent marker-ed, do not cross, alarm-inducing if breached, line. She’d gone out with Leia to talk about it after, and when she came home she’d gone straight to her room and gone to bed, without so much as a word to him.

He didn’t broach the topic at breakfast the next day, as she swirled circles in her cereal with her spoon. Didn’t even bring it up when she’d come home from work exhausted, and he’d made her a cup of tea like he usually did and brought it to her in her room. She wasn’t exactly avoiding him, but conversations were shorter, glances were longer, and personal space became a thing again (when they’d been so comfortable around each other before). So he’d been pleasantly surprised when she suggested a Netflix marathon, and had dispatched him to pick up snacks and soda.

He didn’t want to screw up a good thing, despite how maddening she could be, he rather liked their living situation. She mostly respected his privacy (except when he brought dates over, she always found a way to hang around for a bit), she was responsible with her half of the rent and utilities, and she kept her areas of the apartment clean, for the most part. What he couldn’t deny, was the way his heart had flipped when they first met, when he had answered her posting looking for a roommate. She wasn’t the friendliest to him, all business and very suspicious, asking him loads of questions about his personal life that verged on paranoia, but he couldn’t blame her for being careful so he answered all of her questions truthfully. She must have appreciated that, because she let him move in the next day, and he found he rather enjoyed coming home and seeing her curled up on the sofa, or waking up in the morning and seeing her bleary-eyed at the kitchen table.

The show was in full swing, and Jyn was clearly invested, but Cassian had already missed crucial parts of the plot. He tried to follow along, asking inane questions until ultimately Jyn shushed him.

“Is he really blind? How can he do all those flips if he’s blind?”

“How many hoodies do you think he goes through?”

“Wait, that detective woman has powers too?”

“What does the Iron Fist guy do again?”

Jyn finally shoved the bowl of popcorn at him, and Cassian took the hint. He sat back and tried to enjoy what he could, not missing the fact that as the night wore on, and the series got more and more intense, Jyn moved closer and closer to him.

He was supposed to stop her at three episodes, she had made him promise, because she needed to get up at a reasonable time the next day to go rock-climbing with Leia, but she was so invested, and her arm and leg rested against his, and he couldn’t put an end to this if he tried. He’d opened his mouth to say something, to say  _ hey, it’s time to stop, you told me to tell you _ , but she only shushed him, and then something intense happened on the screen, and she practically jumped into his arms. He settled an arm around her shoulder, and she didn’t mind, so he kept it there, his heart pounding in his chest as she rested against him.

Eight episodes later, the credits rolled and Jyn finally peeled her eyes away from the screen.

“Well that was interesting,” Cassian offered, even though he could barely keep up with what was going on. Jyn wasn’t really looking at him, just staring at something in her lap. She was still tucked into his side though, and made no real move to leave.

“So that assassin woman and that blind ninja are together, right? I mean, he had it really bad for her…” He’d trailed off because Jyn was now looking up at him, and their faces were so close, as close as they’d been when they’d kissed at the charity dinner. Was this what she wanted? Should he kiss her? His heart thudded in his chest, and he could see her eyes searching his, as if she were wondering the same thing.

“Cassian…” she breathed out, but she couldn’t finish her thought, because suddenly their lips met, like two magnets crashing together. She didn’t hold back, it wasn’t like the tentative kiss from the charity dinner, it was a kiss of want, of need, an answer to his question.  _ Yes I want this, yes I’ve wanted this _ .

He moved a hand up to cup her face as they kissed, and she slipped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her until she was reclining back onto the sofa, and he slowly lowered her down. He pulled away from her lips to mouth at her neck, and she groaned as he sucked on her pulse points.

“Jyn, are we really doing this,” he whispered, smiling into the kisses he was pressing against her neck. “Is this what they call Netflix and chill?”

Jyn couldn’t suppress a laugh. “It was Leia’s idea, she told me to spend some alone time with you to see if I liked it,” her breath hitched as he sucked hard enough to leave a mark.

“So do you like it?” He pulled back to look at her, eyes questioning.

“Shut up and get down here,” she shot back, pulling him down by the shirt and crushing her lips to his.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More snapshots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of the roommate au. I plan to publish all of the roommate au together at one point, when I think of a title for it. In the meantime, anything I write for it will show up here. Thanks for reading :-)

_ Are you gonna fuck him tonight? _

_ Leia! _

_ Oh come on, I know you went for a brazilian the other day, you’re not fooling anyone _

_ How the fuck did you know that? Never mind _

_ Haha I have spies everywhere! But seriously, are you??? _

_ BYE LEIA _

Jyn put her phone down and stepped into the shower. She shook her head at Leia’s assumption.  _ Sometimes I like to be smooth down there, what’s it to her? _ She fumed, as she lathered up with the shampoo that she knew Cassian liked the scent of.  _ Uh oh _ .

She absolutely didn’t have plans to fuck him, not at all, except that it never hurts to be prepared, right? Besides, it probably won’t happen, he’s tired when he comes home from work, and she absolutely didn’t leave work early just so she could prepare…

She’d almost talked herself out of doing anything, when the front door clicked and he came into the apartment looking more delicious than any other time Jyn had seen him. His hair did that lovely flip over his face, he was dressed casually in a simple gray t-shirt and jeans slung low on his hips. When he caught sight of her he  _ smiled _ , and his eyes  _ sparkled _ . Jyn’s breath caught in her throat.

“You’re home early,” she managed to blurt out, face reddening as she realized she was in her flimsy bathrobe with her wet hair wrapped in a towel and bundled on top of her head.

“Hm? Oh yeah, I took the afternoon off, had some stuff to do.” He was hiding something behind his back, and curious, Jyn followed him into the kitchen where he had disappeared to. When she got there, he was filling up a vase with water.

“What’s that?” she asked, lifting an eyebrow.

“It’s a vase.”

“I fucking know it’s a vase, Cassian. What’s it for?”

He pressed his lips together to suppress a smirk, before he pulled out what he was hiding behind his back. A gorgeous bouquet of flowers. Jyn’s heart stopped.

“Who--” she swallowed, “Who is that for?”

He only shrugged, continuing on with his work. “It’s for the apartment. Thought it could use some color.”

Jyn couldn’t name the feeling running through her chest. Disappointment? Relief? A mixture of both? She looked away, trying desperately to contain it, when she saw a pink box tied with ribbon sitting on the counter.

“Is that from La PanotiQ?” she jabbed a finger at the box.

He lifted his shoulders nonchalantly. “Yes. I was walking by and smelled it. Couldn’t resist.”

Jyn’s heart fluttered and her mouth salivated from the smell of the macarons in the box, her favorite. Was he trying to seduce her? Flowers? Fancy French biscuits? She crossed her arms over her chest.  _ She _ was supposed to seduce  _ him _ . Oh wait, no she wasn’t.

“Did I interrupt your shower?” He had turned to her now, leaning against the counter, motioning at her ‘ensemble’ with his finger.

“Did you want to?” She’d meant to make it sound defiant, but it came out quite suggestive and there was no way she could take it back now. His eyebrows shot into his hairline and he swallowed audibly, even though he hadn’t been eating or drinking anything. Jyn put a hand on her hip to try to look menacing, but as she did so her robe opened up slightly, revealing the curve of her breast. Cassian’s eyes grew wide.

“Jyn, um…” he took a step towards her, and she had meant to step back, but her feet wouldn’t obey her. He was in her personal space now, and she could feel his heat, smell his… cologne?

“Are you wearing Axe body spray?”

He looked affronted. “As a matter of fact it’s a very expensive cologne I bought when I was in France.”

Jyn hummed, but she couldn’t care about the cologne anymore. Even though she was only wearing a flimsy robe she suddenly felt very hot. His chest was level with her eyes, and she could see the firm planes of his muscle through the fabric. The shirt hung beautifully on him, she noticed, hugging and draping at all the right places. The front hem of it was tucked slightly and haphazardly into his jeans, and she really  _ really _ wanted to untuck it. She bit her lip as the thought of what would happen after that raced through her brain.

“So…” she finally looked up, straight into the glint in his eyes, “What ‘stuff’ did you have to do today?” 

He broke out into a wide grin, no doubt at the cheeky innuendo he had made, and Jyn couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

“Oh fuck it,” she muttered, and flung her arms around his neck, pulling him down and crushing her lips to his. He let out a small squeak of surprise, before he leaned into the kiss, pulling at the tie on her robe. He let it open up before he pulled her body to his, and Jyn gasped into the kiss as she felt her nipples rub against the fabric of his shirt. He broke from the kiss to latch onto her neck, his teeth nipping at her pulse points, and she couldn’t help moaning as her knees went weak. He caught her easily, lifting her up by her thighs and putting her on the counter. He caught her gaze, mischief in his eyes, before he dove between her legs.

Jyn bit back a scream as he put his tongue on her, lapping and sucking at her like a starving man. She fell back onto her elbows, and he hooked her legs over his shoulders so she could open up further to him. He spread her apart, wanting more, not getting enough, running his tongue over her and inside her, and she was losing her head but she couldn’t help it. When he added his fingers she slipped over the edge, convulsing in ecstasy, but he didn’t stop. His fingers, wet from being inside her, moved to her clit, rubbing slow circles around the bud.

“Come, keep coming,” he murmured, and his voice, deep and husky, was enough, and she came with a loud cry, gripping the edges of the counter for purchase. Breathing heavily, she ran her fingers through his hair as he let her come down from her high, pressing soft kisses to her inner thighs. When her breathing evened out, he helped her off the counter and turned her around, bending her over it.

“Can I fuck you from behind?” he asked, his breath hot against her ear making her shiver. Her only response was to reach back, unzip his jeans and wrap her hand around him, already so hard for her, and guide him into her wetness, and she was still so aroused she came almost immediately. He moved slowly inside her at first, slowly, excruciatingly slowly he sheathed himself all the way in, and she sighed at the feel of it. He started to pump then, slow strokes, but she bucked her hips against him, and he took the hint.

“Harder,” she gasped, and he set up a punishing rhythm, gripping her hips and driving himself hard into her. Jyn’s nipples rubbed against the cold granite of the counter, her hair falling from the towel and into her face, as Cassian’s hips slammed against hers. She bit her fist as the waves of her orgasm hit her full force, stars exploding behind her eyes and leaving her vision white. She held onto the counter as he fucked her harder, impossibly deeper, his orgasm coming on hot and heavy. He spilled into her with no words, just a grunt from deep in his throat that made Jyn clench her muscles together, and then he fell limp against her back, kissing at the skin he made contact with.

\---

They were lying in her bed (“My room is closer,” she’d breathed, when they had the strength to get up), Jyn tucked against Cassian’s side, Cassian stroking her hair, thoughts racing through Jyn’s mind.  _ Have I fucked up a good thing? _ She thought,  _ Should I say something? _

“That wasn’t supposed to happen,” she tried, but she knew as soon as she said it that it was a lie.

“I feel like that’s the common theme of our relationship,” he chuckled, twisting a lock of her hair in his fingers.

“Were you planning to seduce me? The flowers? The macarons?” She’d propped herself up on his chest to look at him.

“I mean, it doesn’t hurt to be prepared, right? Just in case? Of course I had to gauge your reaction first, and for a while there I thought I was crashing and burning.”

Jyn nodded thoughtfully. They were more alike than she’d figured. She settled her head against his chest again, and he leaned forward and pressed his nose against her hair.

“Mmm, I love this shampoo.”

Jyn smiled slyly to herself. “I know you do.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More snapshots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short drabble I wrote based on a tumblr post

Hoth is cold.

It’s a fact not lost on anyone, the Alliance provides the best outerwear they can; proper jackets, hats, gloves, scarves, boots. It’s enough for most people, but not for Cassian Andor.

He’s worn jackets upon vests upon jackets before, on Jedha, on Eadu, on the Ring of Kafrene. It had kept him warm, an extra layer of security. On Hoth, he had expected another extra layer, maybe two.

He can’t seem to stay warm.

The requisitioned outerwear he’d been given, on top of the current collection of outerwear he owns, doesn’t seem to be enough. He wears as many layers as he can under the bulk of the coat, but he still can’t stop the bone-chilling shivers that wrack his body. At first he’d thought he might be sick, running a temperature maybe, but after visiting the med-bay and having the med-droids insist he’s fine, he comes to the realization that it’s just him. He  _ really _ feels the cold.

Jyn, on the other hand, manages to get by with what she has, sometimes throwing on a parka if conditions are really bad. Cassian watches her closely, looking for signs of hypothermia or frostbite, but whenever he can take her hand in his, it’s warm.

“I’m fine, Cassian,” she’ll say, when he touches her cheek, and there might be a slight chill to it, but nothing close to frostbite. “You’re cold though,” she’ll say, taking his hands in hers and blowing warmth into them.

At night he almost can’t stand it, he’ll pile blanket on top of blanket on top of blanket, but nothing can keep the cold out. His teeth chatter and goosebumps cover every inch of his skin, and try as he might he can’t keep himself from shivering.

It’s when Jyn joins him, when she slips under the covers with him, the warmth of her body igniting the fire in his soul, that he can finally shed his layers.

“Warm enough?” she’ll ask, as she wraps her arms around him, pressing her body close against his, and he can finally, truthfully, say  _ yes. _


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More snapshots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From a prompt on tumblr:
> 
> one sees the other working out and has a reaction( I don’t care what kind)

Jyn couldn’t sleep, and after deciding tossing and turning in her tiny bunk wasn’t helping anything, she changed into workout clothes and made her way to the training room. The base was quiet at this time of night, and she made her way through the dark halls with quiet footfalls. When she reached the training room she saw through the window that it wasn’t empty.

He’d only turned one light on in the room, the one directly above him, so it shone down and illuminated his every action. Jyn paused, an internal war raging in her mind.

Cassian Andor was an enigma to her. They’d fought side by side, risked their lives together, but in a lot of ways she barely knew anything about him. She watched him now, his fluid movements mesmerizing her.

The punching bag shook as his fists connected, the dull thud echoing throughout the room. His hair flopped into his face, drenched in sweat, he shook it aside as he pummeled the bag. Jyn quietly inhaled.

He hit the bag, again and again, the intensity and ferocity building, his muscles straining. He began to grunt as he struck, a guttural sound that made Jyn’s throat go dry. She shifted uncomfortably where she stood, suddenly wishing she was back in her bunk fantasizing about him, and not watching him in the flesh. A throbbing started to build in her core, and she ached for a release, her hand twitching at the thought of it. She recalled nights in her bunk when he invaded her mind, and her fingers would give her the sweet release she longed for. She contemplated going back to her bunk, but when she turned her body to head back, he suddenly caught sight of her. She froze, as he wiped his brow and made his way to the door to open it.

“Need something, sergeant?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow at her.

“Absolutely, captain.” Jyn kept her eyes trained on his.

“At this time of night?” If he knew the many meanings behind his question he didn’t let on.

“I could ask the same of you.” She tilted her head to look at him, and his gaze faltered slightly.

“I, uh, couldn’t sleep.”

“Neither could I.” She moistened her lips slightly, just a quick dart of her tongue, but he caught the movement. He stared at her lips.

“What do you plan to do about it?” He asked, his voice suddenly low and deep. Jyn took a step towards him and paused, let him step back if he wanted to. Except he didn’t. The air between them was charged, and despite the cool air cycling through the room there was an unmistakable heat radiating from their bodies.

“I could use a workout, captain,” she stood on the tips of her toes, whispered into his ear. Cassian shuddered as her hot breath hit his skin.

“I think there are, uh, some moves I could show you.” His tone was steady, but Jyn was close enough to see the blush creep up his neck.

“Show me.” She barely finished her sentence before he was pulling her into the room, the door shutting behind them. His hands were fast, quicker than Jyn anticipated, and she sucked in a breath as his hand dove between her legs. He cupped her over the stretchy, thin fabric of her workout pants, his fingers rubbing where she was most sensitive.

Jyn’s hands flew to his arms, his biceps flexing as she clung to him. Visions of him punching the bag filled her mind, the impact of the hits sending ripples through his arms, shoulders, and back. Jyn thought of the strength needed for such a hit, and her core throbbed as his hands moved over her body.

“You’re so wet already,” he growled into her neck, before he latched on and sucked hard. Jyn gasped.

“Stop teasing,” she finally managed to say once she got her breath back. She could feel him smiling into her neck, before he plunged his hand down her pants. His hand was hot against her skin, his fingers sure and steady as they slipped inside her. Jyn bit back a cry as his fingers moved inside her, feeling the stretch as he pushed in. He started to pump his fingers, hitting that spot that made her vision white out, and she couldn’t stop the whimpers that came out of her mouth.

“C-Cassian…” She could barely speak, she had to tell him she was going to come but she could only get his name out before she hit her peak, the waves of pleasure hitting her full force. He held her firmly against him as she came down from her high, and Jyn buried her face into his chest as his fingers stilled inside of her. Jyn didn’t realize she was breathing heavily until Cassian chuckled.

“How was that for a workout?” he asked cheekily.

“I have to say, I like your moves.” She pulled back to look at him, and as he angled in for a kiss…

She woke up.

Jyn inwardly cursed, passing the back of her hand over her brow, soaked with sweat. As she started to regain consciousness she realized her other hand was between her legs, and with thoughts of Cassian still hovering in her mind, she finished herself off before wrapping the flimsy Rebellion-issue blanket around herself and turning over in her narrow bunk.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More snapshots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From a prompt meme on tumblr

**Prompt: _“I am not losing you again!”_**

***inspired by a line from Hamilton**

Jyn woke in a cold sweat, reached blindly and unthinkingly to the space beside her. When her hand came up empty, she wasn’t surprised, although the stabbing feeling she felt in her heart was something she could never get used to.

The quiet, however, the quiet she could get used to. She never liked the quiet before.

She’d lived a life of almost constant chaos, and she’d never really realized, a life of constant noise. She’d never really slowed down, never really contemplated the value of silence. She lay in their bed, listened to her breaths, noted the silence, noted the absence.

Shutting her eyes closed, the cacophony of battle creeped once again into her mind unbidden, and she was powerless against the memories. But there was his voice amongst the noise…

“I’m going out over that ridge, Baze and Chirrut are pinned down, I can get to them.”

“Cassian, no! It’s too dangerous!” She had reached for him, tugged desperately on the sleeve of his jacket. Blaster fire exploded all around them. She could barely hear him through the noise.

“I can make it.” He was scrambling up the rise, and Jyn had stumbled to her feet but he was already beyond her reach.

“I am not losing you again!” She couldn’t help but think back to the aftermath of Scarif, when Cassian had flatlined after they’d been saved, and she had felt broken and helpless until they were able to revive him.

“You won’t, I promise!” His form disappeared over the ridge, and that was the last time Jyn had seen him. Baze and Chirrut had returned, with no sign of Cassian.

She forced the memories from her mind, tried to go back to sleep, the quiet in the room her only companion.

Until the sirens blared in the base, and Bodhi burst through the door.

“He’s back!” And those two words were enough to send her sprinting towards the hangar.

Later, after he’d been cleared by medical and debriefed by Draven, she dragged him back to their room and shut the door and turned off comms. She helped him into bed, and he finally let his weary body rest, and she snuggled up to him, not even bothering to take off her boots. She held him until he fell asleep, and once again the quiet took over, save for the steady, reassuring rhythm of his breaths.

\---

**Prompt: _“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”_**

***EXPLICIT**

The light was dim in Cassian’s quarters, but it was enough for Jyn to make out the outline of his frame, hunched over a datapad while perched on the edge of the bed. As her eyes adjusted to the low light she could finally see the contours of his face, brow creased, lips pursed, eyes scanning the screen. Jyn yawned loudly, stretched her petite frame to take up as much room in the bed as she could. Cassian didn’t move.

Briefly, Jyn considered leaving him alone and going back to sleep. He must’ve had a good reason to be awake in the middle of the night, maybe he got sent some important intel from Command to look at. But Jyn had woken from a dream, a  _ very good _ dream, in which Cassian had played a prominent part.

She brushed her knee gently against his back, but he remained hunched over his datapad. She sighed heavily, rustling the sheets and then bunching them up against his back. Cassian made no sign of acknowledgment, and Jyn couldn’t take it anymore.

“Cassian.”

“Hm.”

“Why aren’t you in bed?”

“Researching. Haven’t been to this planet we’re going to tomorrow, just want to know what we’re getting into.”

“I’m sure Command wouldn’t send us somewhere they hadn’t checked into before.”

“Of course not, but it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.”

Throughout the entire conversation Cassian hadn’t looked up from his datapad once, and Jyn was getting increasingly frustrated. The buzz of arousal was starting to wear off, and she wanted to chase it before it went away completely.

She’d just have to take care of it herself.

She knew she was already wet, she could feel it between her legs, so she slipped her hand under the waistband of her underwear and dipped a finger in. It must’ve been a really good dream, because her finger came out soaked. She suddenly remembered the details of the dream, of Cassian’s hands on her, his fingers inside her. She didn’t waste any time, plunging a finger, then two, then three inside, stretching herself until it felt just like the dream. She bucked her hips as her fingers hit the spot, and in doing so her knee knocked against Cassian’s back.

The first and second time she knocked against him he didn’t move, but by the third time he finally grunted.

“Jyn, please.” He still hadn’t looked up from his datapad though. Jyn couldn’t take it anymore, ramping up the speed of her fingers, pushing them in as deep as she could.

“I… am… not… going… to stop… poking you… until… you… give me… some atten-- aaaaahhh!!!” She couldn’t get the rest of the sentence out, she had a hard enough time speaking as her orgasm built up and she finally came, clenching hard around her fingers. She let out a long breath when she came down from her high, and when she slipped her fingers out she realized she’d made quite a mess.

It finally got Cassian’s attention though. He had turned his entire body towards her, datapad long forgotten, and for once the intense look of concentration on his face wasn’t directed towards the screen.

“Do I finally have your attention?” she rasped, her throat hoarse from the scream her orgasm had elicited from her.

“You have my undivided attention,” he said in a low voice, and then he took her hand and sucked the fingers that had just been inside her. Jyn’s core throbbed as her arousal returned in full force, so she took his hand and slipped it between her legs. He cupped her mound, the heel of his hand pressing against her clit, his fingers rubbing her wetness.

“Show me,” she breathed, and she arched into him as his fingers parted her, her dream finally turning into reality.

\---

**Prompt: _“I don’t know why I’m crying.”,_ _“Did I say that out loud?”_**

The med-bay was silent, only the steady whirr of the droids doing their rounds and the quiet hum of the medical machines could be heard. Jyn sat slumped in a chair by Cassian’s bed, chin in hand, trying hard to fall asleep and studiously ignoring any droid who came by telling her she shouldn’t be there. She closed her eyes, tried hard to relax her mind so she could rest. Checking her chrono she realized she’d been sitting by his bed for hours, waiting for him to regain consciousness. It hadn’t once occurred to her to leave, especially since he had taken the blaster shot trying to protect her.

Besides, she had some choice words for him once he woke up, she didn’t care what the blasted med droids had to say about it. She hesitantly put a hand on his, thought the gesture might be too intimate and was about to retract it, when his eyes shot open.

“It’s not what you think!” he suddenly yelled, and startled, Jyn shrank back.

“Cassian?” she asked, “Are you okay?”

“I don’t have what you’re looking for, I really don’t have it,” he muttered, but as Jyn leaned forward she realized he wasn’t looking at her at all, his eyes glassy and unfocused. She grabbed the nearest droid and directed it towards Cassian.

“What’s wrong with him?” she demanded. The droid turned towards Cassian and checked his vitals.

“He is having a reaction to the medication. This is normal,” The droid intoned. “If you like, I can give him a sedative.”

Jyn was about to agree, but then Cassian seemed to recognize her, his face softening.

“Jyn? Is that you?” His voice was quiet, almost reverent, as his eyes widened at the sight of her. She waved the droid off, and the angry speech she had prepared for him suddenly didn’t seem so important.

“Yes, Cassian, it’s me.” She once more took her seat by his bed, and his eyes never left her as she moved.

“Jyn Erso, daughter of Galen Erso. Also known under the aliases Kestrel Dawn, Tanith Ponta, Liana Hallik.” His eyes started to become distant again, his voice turning flat, so Jyn grabbed his hand.

“Cassian!”

At the touch of her hand his eyes focused, and his expression once again turned awestruck.

“Jyn! I can’t believe you’re here!” His eyes never left her face, pupils darting over her features. He grabbed both of her hands in his and squeezed, and Jyn was taken aback at the gesture. Since Scarif they had been close, almost inseparable, but as a  _ team _ . Cassian was always careful to keep things as professional as he could, and if there were lingering looks, or inadvertent touches, well Jyn just figured that was inevitable when you worked so closely with someone.

“Cassian?” She was unsure of this, his eyes were clear but it could have still been the after effects of the medication. They started to well with tears though, and it was then Jyn was convinced.

“I don’t know why I’m crying,” he tried to laugh it off, but the tears continued to stream down his face.

“It’s the medica--” Jyn started to say, but Cassian stopped her with a finger to her lips.

“No, no,” he shook his head, “ever since I met you, I’ve had this urge,” the words tumbled out of him, one after the other, and Jyn could only watch, face frozen, “I want to protect you, I don’t ever want anything bad to happen to you, it’s like this compulsion, you know?”

Jyn was about to open her mouth to answer, but it seemed he wasn’t finished.

“I just want to protect your body with my body, you know? Like throw my body in front of yours. My body over your body. On your body. On top of… your… body...” he trailed off, comprehension painfully dawning on him. The medication must’ve finally been wearing off. Sure enough, his face twisted in confusion as he hesitantly met her eyes.

“Did I say that out loud?” he asked sheepishly, and when Jyn could only nod, a flush crept up from his neck and spread over his entire face. He passed a hand over his brow and laid back down onto his pillow.

“Cassian?” Jyn didn’t move any closer, the air between them heavy with unacknowledged things.

“I suddenly don’t feel so good,” he mumbled, and turned over onto his side, away from her. Jyn took her cue, quietly turned around and headed for the door. Just as it whooshed open, Cassian called her back.

“Sergeant?” 

“Yes?” Jyn turned to see Cassian sitting up in his bed, regarding her with his spy face on.

“Thank you for staying with me.” He didn’t smile, and for a fleeting moment Jyn thought of the choice words she had prepared for him, but there was something in the set of his jaw, something that crooked at the edges of his mouth, that made her chest flutter in the most alarming way, and made her wonder if she needed some of that exact same medication that had loosed Cassian’s lips.


End file.
